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Hey Internet.


I ended up being alright for Christmas. The Christmas season did bring back old feelings, but I'm back to normal now.
Well, for the most part.
But now, as I try to think about him, my stomach doesn't twist into a hundred knots.
I just have to remember all the reasons why I shouldn't go back to those feelings anymore, and I should be alright.
So, rest easy, Internet. No Rickybobby-itis for meeee. :]
haha.

...But I did catch my dad's cold.
Yep. So, right now, I'm pretty miserable.
Not only on the outside, but I also got terrible news today.
Yeah. On the first day of the freakin' new year.

You know...the thing about recessions is that everyone is effected, but some worse than others.
I'm very sorry to say that my family's home has been foreclosed.

We've lived in this house for two years. Only two Christmases, two summers, two birthdays...
I have to say, I'm extremely jealous of those people out there that have lived in a house their whole lives. I have a small complex with moving. I hate it so much. I've moved seven times in my lifetime.
I just hate the feeling of putting your entire being into a place, the place that you put all of your belongings and comfort in...and then just leaving it all behind. Those halls you walk everyday, the windows you look out of, the carpet that squishes underneath your feet...and then all of a sudden you leave it forever.

I just hate it. I hate losing things, I hate change.

And the thing I hate most is that, if a land lord was taking it from us because of the amount we paid him, we could find a way to pay him better and stay here. Or if my parents found a better house, I could convince them to stay.
But this is out of our control. The government is taking this house from our land lord (we rented) and putting it up for auction. Us, and four other houses on our street. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

It's sickening. I feel robbed.
This is our home, and somebody is taking it from us, giving us no choice but to move out of it within a month.

I've pretty much been crying for 4 hours straight. I couldn't eat dinner.
You know, this is one of those things that happens where, you don't think it could ever happen to you, but then you realize it could when it's too late.
I realize there are less fortunate people out there that this recession is hurting, and I realize much worse could have happened...but it's still so hard.

Sorry, I just had to vent. It helped a little.

Here's to hoping your 2009 starts out better than mine.

xo Hopeless Romantic

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