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Labels: freshman year, phil

Labels: freshman year, phil

I love this picture. I just thought I'd brighten the mood a bit after that moody last entry. :D

Anyway, I have news on Phil!
About a week after all that I blogged about him before, it turned out that he actually liked Lizzie, Jessica Simpson's ex-BFF.
So, I was all disappointed and crap, so I decided to go back to not liking anyone after that.

Then, about a month later (aka, last week), Best friend Rose and I were talking with one of our good friends, Gene, at lunch. He's an awesome guy, we talk with him about everything! He even gossips with us. Then, Phil walks by, and Phil and Gene are pretty good friends so they talk about something, and then Phil leaves. As soon as he leaves, Gene says, "He's so cool."
And I say, without thinking, of course, "Yeah, he seems cool. I think he's cute."
Then Gene goes all gossip-girl-y. "Oh my God, really?? You guys would be a cute couple."
I look at Rose and say, "Really?" And they both nod their heads yes. Then I tell Gene about the whole Phil-Lizzie thing.
"Ew, that's weird. She's not even that pretty. You hotter than her, Sarah."
I say, "Aw, thanks Gene."
And he goes, "I should talk to him about you!" After I hesitantly agree, after about five minutes of convincing, we come up with an awesome elaborate super-spy plan.

The plan was to have me leave, buying random crap at the lunch line, and then Gene goes and talks to Phil , while Rose stays at the table and waits for us. Well, we go through with the plan, and it turns out Gene told Phil he should "Pursue Me". xDDD

But, it also turns out that Gene should be a matchmaker, because when I was with my friend, another Sarah, in the library during Eighth Hour, Phil came and sat with us. We all talked, and by the end, I had Phil's number and he had mine.
:D
Then, the past week, we've been talking more and more, and I've come to find that he's really nice.

And then today, in English, second hour...I found out something.
Today, he worked with Jessica Simpson on the classwork. The past week, I had worked with both of them, but today, they had their desks pushed together, and they shared a book. Now, I knew that Jessica Simpson always forgets to bring her English book to class, and he was probably just being nice and sharing his with her so that she could get it done in class.

But, I was so so jealous.

And Jessica Simpson's my friend, so I know that she would never do that to me (she knows the whole situation). But I was super jealous! And you know what jealousy means, Internet....

I think I might like him.
I have that floaty-crush feeling that I haven't had in forever. I actually forgot what it felt like until now.

But, I can't. Not yet. I have to know if he likes me too. I've too many times been a victim of unrequited crushes. But, I think this time, it might actually become a possibility.

Today, my friend Sarah told me that she asked Phil if he thought certain girls were cute. First she asked about Jessica Simpson, and he said yes. Then, she asked about a girl named Katy in our grade, and he said yes. Then, she asked about Best friend Rose, and I swear, this was his exact response:
"Hmm, I don't know...but, that girl Sarah is cute."

Internet, I think that is a fantastic start.

PS: Sapphire, thank you! It'll definately be different this time. :D

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, phil

Hey, Internet. It's been a while.

Alot has happened. I'll save the positive stuff for a seperate entry.
But first: I'll have to change the name of my Blog, because on March 29th, I had my 16th birthday.

:]

That's right. 15 Year Old Hopeless Romanic is no longer, and say hello to 16 Year Old Hopeless Romantic.
It's weird, who know how every birthday, people ask you, "Do you feel older?" And naturally, you say no? Well, this birthday, I actually felt older. Maybe its because of the significance of the Sixteenth Birthday, but I felt something. It was strange.

Alot has happened in a year, and today, I had a bit of a flashback.

This day last year, we had a really heavy rainstorm. I remember this particular rainstorm because I remember that day after school. That school day, I had spent more time with Ricky Bobby, even after all the crap he put me through. And I remember getting home that day, going up to my room, staring out at the pouring rain outside my window. And I cried, because that day, I also realized that no matter what, I couldn't make my feelings fade away. I realized that I loved him.
And I realized that I hardly had a month left to see him everyday.

Well, today I thought about that. Espacially after I heard from Johnny(remember, my best guy friend, and also the best friend of Ricky Bobby) that Ricky Bobby wasn't moving back next year like he said he would. Today, we also had the first rainstorm of the year.

Ironic, right?

Well, on the drive home after school, I kept having painful flashbacks as I stared out into the rain, and at that moment, I felt the hopelessness that I felt that day last year. I watched the rain slide down the windshield, and my eyes actually welled up. That was when I realized.

It's been a year.

He's not coming back, ever.

It's not gonna happen.

I need to move on.

I've been better, but there's still a hole in me from when he left. I need to heal the wound myself. Nobody can do it for me. I have to put a bandaid and Neosporin on it and keep moving.

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, ricky bobby

Okay. So, Best Friend Rose told me that the same day the weird thing that happened to me with Fiddy, the weird thing happened to her too!

In English, (she still has English with him) she had to use a calculator to find the percentage grade of the person's paper she was grading. Fiddy was nearby, and he had a calculator, so she asked him if she could barrow it. He gave it to her, and after she was done, he came over to her desk. When she said, "Here you go!" and held the calculator out to him, the weirdest thing happened.
She said he just stood there, staring into her eyes. Like, his eyes were boring into hers! Rose isn't intimidated by that like I am (when he did that to me, I couldn't look at him for more than 3 seconds. xD) so she stared back, comepletely thrown off. She said she didn't know what to do, and it felt like forever until he finally took the calculator and walked away.

She described it as weird, too. By now, we both know his tricks. We spent the rest of the conversation trying to think of what he was up to.

By the way, he still has that 'girlfriend'. You know, the poor girl that goes to another school and has no idea about his playboy ways? He finally posted a picture of him and her together on myspace. It looked like they were dressed up for Sadie's, (Which, by the way, I didn't go to that. I just didn't feel like it. haha.) and Fiddy had a forced-looking smile on his face. I'm just wondering how long he's going to lead her on like this. She looks like such a nice girl.

Meanwhile, every morning in second period, Phil continues to stare at me. By Wednesday, I start to realize that maybe it's not a coincidence. After all, on Wednesday, I spent so much time curling my hair (it takes forever, my hair's so long!) that I couldn't pick out an outfit, so I just wore a hoodie, skinny jeans, and my new moccasin flats (which I love by the way.). It was a sute outfit, I guess, but not super-i-spent-forever-picking-this-out-cute, you know? And he still stared. At first, maybe I thought there was something wrong, like I had something on my face or something like that.

But his expression wasn't disgusted.

And honestly, Phil isn't bad at all. I don't understand why he hangs out with Derek all the time, because I personally think he could do better (sorry, I just really don't like Derek. hahaha.). And, really, he is so cute. Really, he is. He has really nice, long brown hair that falls into his blue eyes, and he has a cute nose! Haha. He has freckles, and for some reason, I love freckles. Yeah, he's really cute.

I realized something too...he reminds me alot of Ricky Bobby. His personality, his style, and his looks, except for the fact that Ricky Bobby has green eyes instead of blue.

It's almost weird how much he reminds me of Ricky Bobby.

But I won't assume anything yet. I don't wanna just assume anything, because I've been so careful with guys. I don't want to risk my heart again.

But even into Thursday, he stared at me.

Then came Friday, the craziest day of all.
My day started off with Phil staring at me, and I even caught his eyes with mine a few times. And when he stared at me, I mean, every chance he got, he stared. Even when I wasn't doing anything, like staring into space. Even when I was talking to Jessica Simpson (see past entires for refrence), he just stared. I was beginning to feel flattered. Though I didn't want to assume things, I couldn't help being flattered.

Then, when walking to my fifth hour class with Best Friend Rose, we happened to walk past Fiddy. I watched from my perefial vision, and I saw his gaze switch from Rose to me, then to Rose, then to me again. Rose hadn't noticed, but I ended up telling her later.

Then during lunch, the table Rose and I usually sat at was full, so we sat at the one next to it. I hadn't brought enough money to get a slice of pizza, so as I stood, I asked Rose who she though I could borrow money from. She suggested AJ, and I looked around the entire Cafeteria to find him.
"Are you sure he's here today?" I asked her, and when I glanced over to where Fiddy's table was near, and I accidentally glanced at Fiddy. He was watching me, and I looked away quickly and pulled at my clothes. Even though I don't like him, I don't think any girl couldn't feel self-concious and nervous under his gaze.
"Maybe he's not," Rose replied. I nodded, and I glanced around the Cafeteria one last time. I didn't see him, so I almost looked back at Rose. Before I did, though, I noticed Fiddy and Amazon (also see past entires for refrence) getting up from their table. I shook it off, assuming they were getting food or something. Out of my perefial vision, I saw that they were watching us as they walked.

'No,' I thought. 'They can't be...'

Sure enough, a few seconds later, they were greeting us.

"Heyyyy!" Fiddy says. "What's goin' on?"

Amazon grabs a chair. "Mind if we sit with you guys?"

My eyebrows were raised, and since I couldn't respond, Rose replied, "Sure, go ahead!"

We exchange a quick, 'WTF' glance, too quick for them to notice, because they seemed to be having a silent exchange themselves. So, Fiddy tries to sit next to Rose, but then Amazon sits next to her. (Oh! By the way, Rose and Amazon are pretending to date. Its weird. Like, the kind of pretending, as in, everyone knows its pretending. Like, 'just joking around' pretending...yeah. It's really weird.) So Fiddy goes, "Well, fine! I'd rather sit next to Sarah anyways!"

I chuckle, but inside, I'm totally freaking out. I'm like, 'What's going on?!'

So then I see Jessica Simpson walk by the enterence, and I say, "Haha, well, I'll be right back."

Behind me, I hear Fiddy say, "Well, gosh!" All jokingly. Rose and Amazon laugh. I don't bother to turn around and laugh with them over my shoulder, I'm too freaked out.

I say hi to Jessica Simpson and give her a hug (we're really good friends now! She's a doll.) and ask her if I could borrow a dollar. She gives me one, I thank her, and I buy a slice of pizza. The whole time I'm away from the table, I'm 1. Glad none of them at the table can see me, because I'm having a mild nervous breakdown, and 2. Wondering how the hell I'm going to eat in front of them. (I have this issue with eating in front of guys. I'm not sure why, I just get super self-concious!)

So I start to return to the table, and Fiddy is sitting in my seat next to Rose. I sigh and shake my head. By now, I'm pretty sure I know what he's up to.

I finally reach the table, and I say, "Oh, I see how it is, Fiddy." And with a smile, I reach to move my stuff over to the next empty seat.

He pretends to be innocent. "Oh, sorry! Do you want me to move?"

"No, it's alright." I almost said yes, but I wanted to see how he would use this to his advantage. So, I sat down, and I noticed that Amazon was putting cream cheese on Rose's bagel for her. I chuckled under my breath and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This was beginning to be too much. They were so obvious, it was almost disgusting.

Fiddy and I watched Rose and Amazon banter back and forth flirtatiously (I really think they like eachother secretly or something) and Amazon tried to figure out the unlock code for Rose's phone. I could feel the awkward air between Fiddy and I, and I also knew he wanted me to start a conversation between us. I wouldn't ever grant him that pleasure. :]

During all this, I awkwardly picked at my pizza crust and ate small pieces at a time. I couldn't risk getting pepperoni getting stuck in my teeth now. xD

After Fiddy tried unlocking Rose's phone, I smirked and said aloud, "I know it."

All three looked at me, and Rose said, "Don't tell them!!"

"I won't!" I said, and took her phone. I entered the password and her wallpaper greeted me. I waved it in front of them and said, "Ha-ha!" Then quickly took it back and locked it again.

They tried to badger me to tell them what it was, and Fiddy tried to seduce me with his eyes. Haha! It didn't work on me once. I was extememly proud of myself.

Finally lunch was over, they left, and I could finally shove my pizza down my throat. xD

After they left, Rose and I looked at eachother, and she said, "Uhh...what just happened?"
Neither of us had any idea.

And then concludes the weirdest week of my life.
Sorry it was so long. ><;;
It's like a freakin' novel. Haha.

I'll update you on more stuff later!

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, phil

So, Internet...

Ahhhhhh! D:

This week was insane. Seriously. So much happened, I didn't even know what to think!

Except for the fact that the entire week, I kept thinking, 'I have to blog about this!!'
I might have to make this into two parts, because it's going to be long!
So, let's start with Monday.

It started out like any other boring Monday. The first half was completely normal. Except for the fact that mine and Rose's other friend, Autumn, started blowing us off. So that was like, 'okay, fine, whatever.' But then, The second half starting getting weird. So, I only have 6 classes during the day, because I didn't have a first hour to begin with, and then when I wanted a study hall eighth hour, the office just gave me no eighth hour instead.
Yeah, it's awesome. Haha. But anyway, so I go to the school library to do homework during 'eighth hour', because I hate doing homework at home for some reason.

So, It's eighth hour, and I realize I forgot to get one of my books for my homework, so I leave my stuff in the library and go to my locker to get it. I get my book, and then heading back to the library, guess who turns a corner in the hallway?

Fiddy.

Yup. And it was extremely awkward, because, 1. There was nobody else in the hallway except for us two. And 2. I hadn't talked to him at all from December to that day. So, despite the awkwardness, I just gave him a small smile. Instead of smiling back or waving or saying hi like a normal person, he just stared at me. I mean, like, his eyes were practically boring into me!

It was so weird. So, I just kinda kept walking, casually running my fingers through my hair (something I do to distract myself). Ahh, it was the weirdest thing!

And then, when I got back to the library, after a while of working, an annoying boy named Derek came in. Now first, before you judge, Derek annoys everyone. He shouts sexual profanities in the hallways, he never brings his stuff to class, and he's always late to his classes. I'm really amazed that the school hasn't kicked him out yet.

And Derek has a liking to bugging the hell out of me, since he knows I espacially don't like him. So, he comes into the library with his friend, Phil, and he shouts "Sarah!! Sarah!!"

I slowly look at him, glaring. "What?" I reply impatiently.

"Um, Uhh, Uh.." He punches Phil in the arm. "PHIL WANTS YOU!"

My eyebrows raise. "Excuse me?"

Phil puts his hands up defensively. "No!! No!! Don't believe him!! Don't believe anything he says!! No!!"

All the while, Derek is laughing his head off. I shake my head.

"Uh...okay."

They start to walk off, and I get back to work. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Phil pushing Derek in a way you push someone when you're annoyed with them. I listen closely, and I hear Phil say, "If you ever do that again, I will kill you. That is a threat."
And then I hear Derek reply, "But it's true! OW!"
Phil hits him again and says. "I don't care! Never do that again!"

For reasons I can't fathom, the librarian isn't telling them to shut up. But she's a pretty cool librarian. She's in her late 20's and actually knows how to dress. She's really nice, too.

Anyway, I after this, I couldn't focus on my homework at all. After both of these events, I was seriously a little freaked out, and I wondered if there was something in the water at school.

After the last bell rang, I practically ran to the car. I couldn't wait to get away from that crazy place!! xD;

Then, the next morning, I go to my second period class. Phil is in my second period class. I didn't really even notice that fact at all until yesterday. During the whole class, he wouldn't stop staring at me. I mean, really staring at me. Like, even when I accidently glanced at him, he didn't look away. Each time, I just told myself it was a coincidence.

Later that day, I was talking to Best Friend Rose about what happened the day before with Fiddy. After I finish telling her, she tells me that he had been doing the same with her! As in, staring her down, acting weird.

Yes, folks, Fiddy is at it again.
And that's not even part of it! Read part 2!

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, phil

Hello there internet.

I was going to update on Valentine's Day, but I got caught up watching chick flicks the whole day. Yup, watching chick flicks in sweats and eating junk food is my ideal V-day right now.
And let me tell you, it was fantastic!
Haha. Proooud of it.

So what if I didn't get flowers from anyone other than my dad? I'm fine with that for now.
:]]

So, here's the best friend Rose update. Thankfully, she got over that whole 'love-at-first-sight-in-a-teeny-tea-shop' thing. She finally stopped going back last week.
I hate to say it, but, I told her so. She never even got his number, and he never even got hers! And what were the odds of them seeing eachother again?

Exactly.

So I'm glad she finally realized that.
But, she met someone else already. Ironically enough, it was Valentine's weekend too. Just like in the movies.
He's this guy from another school, and they've been talking alot I guess. He likes her too.
I asked her if they're going to go out, and she didn't answer me.

I hate to go about this pessimistically, but I've known Rose forever, and I've been there ever since her first boyfriend. The longest she's ever dated a guy was three weeks. :/
Yep, three. And I really don't expect this to last very long, because they never do. But, we'll just see!

Anyway, happy belated Valentine's day to everyone!

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Hello, Internet!

Yes, I am back. Moving has interesting side-effects, and one of ours happened to be that our internet didn't work for nearly a month.

Haha, yeah. It sucked.

But during this process I found that this house isn't that bad after all. I've actually come to like it alot. :]]

As for love updates...well, I'll sum it up for you.
Best friend Rose dated a 19 year old for a grand total of 5 days, and then a few weeks later she saw a guy at a coffee shop in a small town she went to and claimed to have fallen in love with him in the short time she saw him...so Rose went back to the coffee shop the next day, and he wasn't there. She's still wallowing.

I mean, honestly, I sympatize with her, but...I'm almost absolutely sure that falling in love doesn't happen that quickly. Maybe I'm not the one to talk, since I've never fallen in love at first sight, or known anyone that has with a maturity level above mine, but really. She can tend to overexaggerate things, and this might be one of them.
Well, she saw him on a Monday, so she's going back next Monday.

I'll tell you how that one goes, Internet.

As for me, nothing yet. I'm just waiting for a new guy to come, because I think we all know by now that I'm not taking a chance with any of the tools at my school.

So I'll just wait,

And wait.

.....Still waiting.

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Hey Internet.

So, I decided, I'll be okay.
I'm still kind of devastated about moving, but I realize it's something I can't control.
We went to see the house we're gonna rent, and it wasn't bad. I didn't hate it. It was actually kind of nice.
But it just didn't feel like home.
And then I thought about it, and really...this house may seem like home now because of all the time spend in it, but without all our stuff in it, it will just be an empty house.
I was talking with my other best friend in Science today, let's call her Jazz. She said the house she lives in now didn't feel like home when she first moved in. In fact, she said she hated it. But now, she said she couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

I guess after I get settled in, it will feel better.

I'll still miss this house like crazy, though. I think there'll always be a part of me that will.

Anyway, I decided I needed to cherish the last moments I have with this house. I have four days left, and only two nights left. The thought of it makes me want to cry, but I don't want to be sad anymore. That's not how I want to remember the last days in this house. I want to get through it like normal and remember that I came out alright.

I also wanted to put lyrics in this entry, this song has helped me through the past few days. :]

Labels: freshman year

Hey Internet.


I ended up being alright for Christmas. The Christmas season did bring back old feelings, but I'm back to normal now.
Well, for the most part.
But now, as I try to think about him, my stomach doesn't twist into a hundred knots.
I just have to remember all the reasons why I shouldn't go back to those feelings anymore, and I should be alright.
So, rest easy, Internet. No Rickybobby-itis for meeee. :]
haha.

...But I did catch my dad's cold.
Yep. So, right now, I'm pretty miserable.
Not only on the outside, but I also got terrible news today.
Yeah. On the first day of the freakin' new year.

You know...the thing about recessions is that everyone is effected, but some worse than others.
I'm very sorry to say that my family's home has been foreclosed.

We've lived in this house for two years. Only two Christmases, two summers, two birthdays...
I have to say, I'm extremely jealous of those people out there that have lived in a house their whole lives. I have a small complex with moving. I hate it so much. I've moved seven times in my lifetime.
I just hate the feeling of putting your entire being into a place, the place that you put all of your belongings and comfort in...and then just leaving it all behind. Those halls you walk everyday, the windows you look out of, the carpet that squishes underneath your feet...and then all of a sudden you leave it forever.

I just hate it. I hate losing things, I hate change.

And the thing I hate most is that, if a land lord was taking it from us because of the amount we paid him, we could find a way to pay him better and stay here. Or if my parents found a better house, I could convince them to stay.
But this is out of our control. The government is taking this house from our land lord (we rented) and putting it up for auction. Us, and four other houses on our street. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

It's sickening. I feel robbed.
This is our home, and somebody is taking it from us, giving us no choice but to move out of it within a month.

I've pretty much been crying for 4 hours straight. I couldn't eat dinner.
You know, this is one of those things that happens where, you don't think it could ever happen to you, but then you realize it could when it's too late.
I realize there are less fortunate people out there that this recession is hurting, and I realize much worse could have happened...but it's still so hard.

Sorry, I just had to vent. It helped a little.

Here's to hoping your 2009 starts out better than mine.

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

So, Internet, I finished finals.
I'm so relived. On my way home Friday afternoon, I was so happy, I thought I'd start crying.
Haha.

And I'm super stoked for Christmas! I just double checked under our Christmas tree, and I have 16 gifts!
....I'm very excited. Hahaha. And just yesterday, me and my mom made cookies and decorated them. I love this time of year so much.

But, I have something else to talk about in this entry.

Ricky Bobby.
(for those of you that don't know who he is, go look at my very first entry from way back in May.)

So, supposedly now, he's not coming to visit over Christmas break anymore. Something about really expensive plane tickets or something. I don't blame his parents, they are pretty expensive.
And i guess I should have been more upset. You'd think I would.
But I'm not.

Truthfully, over half a year has gone by since that night. I'm better now. I don't cry every time I think about it, I don't get an empty ache in my chest when I hear his name. I don't want to be with him anymore.
But I still think about him sometimes. Well, actually, more about what could have been.
He could've stayed here, with everyone, with all his friends, with me. We could've fallen even more in love. We could've been together by now. He could've been here as I write this entry, wrapping his arms around me, telling me those words I wanted to hear from him at one time.

I talked to him about a month ago. Well, we've talked since then, but it was meaningless small talk. He told me that he still has the shirt I gave him, and that it still means alot to him.
I'm not even gonna lie, Internet. That tugged at my heartstrings.
I'm not saying that I'd rather have him insult me and tell me how much he hates me.
But he's still just as sweet as he was, and it still kills me.
It would be easier to get over him completely if he hated me. But he just makes this so hard sometimes.

So, maybe it's a good thing he's not visiting this Christmas. As much as I hate to admit it, I know that if I saw him now, the feelings wouldn't be completely gone.
And It's even harder because I don't have someone new to focus on. It's kind of weird to not have someone to like.
Not that I'm saying I need to like someone all the time. But it's hard to get used to not having someone, you know? When you really like someone, you focus your energy and every thought on them. It's like your world revolves around everything about them.
When it's suddenly gone, it's very disorientating.
Like for instance, I added a few new songs to my playlist. One of the new songs I added was 'Whatever It Takes' by Lifehouse. For the longest time, I couldn't listen to this song. It reminds me so much of him, its crazy.
Now I'm able to listen to it again. I just hope I can get used to this not-liking thing.

Okay, I'm gonna wrap up this entry, because it's getting ridiculously long. Hahaha.
I hope everyone out there has a great holiday!


Merry Christmas,
xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, ricky bobby

Ahh. Semester Finals week.

I honestly have never been so stressed in my whole life, internet.
Good lord, so much work. I've never had this much homework in my whole school-life.
x[

It's seriously insane.
But, the last 3 days of the week shouldn't be as hard, I just have to study alot. Plus, when our last final of the day is over, we get to leave, and that's usually around 1:45.
So I guess that's a plus.

Anyway, so, you'll never believe this.
Rosie and I just found out that Fiddy has a girlfriend.

A girlfriend.

I don't know whether to be surprised, appalled, or sympathetic.
First, I'm surprised that Fiddy could actually have enough focus on one girl to be able to get a girlfriend.
But then, I'm apalled because he has a girlfriend and he has the audacity to flirt constantly with other girls behind his girlfriends' back, just because she goes to another school!
And that's why I'm sympathetic for his girlfriend. I'm feel sorry for her because she has no idea.

When we found out, even though she wouldn't admit it, I knew Rosie was disappointed about it. I would be too. :/

Maybe I should've protected her from the menace that is Fiddy.

But still, even after finding that out, she can't stop liking him. I can tell. She still flirts back when he flirts with her, even if she doesn't realize it.

Oh boy.
:/

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Hmm, internet.


It seems that there's more trouble.
Except not for me, this time!


It involves my best friend. I don't know why I haven't given her a nickname yet, thats weird. I mean, I talk about her almost all the time.
Let's name her Rosie.
No particular reason, I just thought it sounded good. Haha.

Okay, so, it involves Rosie and....
Fiddy.


Dun Dun Duuuuun.

Mhmm. Fiddy is back, ladies and gents.
And this time, he's made my best friend his prey.
I knowww!
And she doesn't want to admit that he likes her. Its weird, internet, Rosie is one of those incredibly undeniably gorgeous people that deny that very fact. I don't know what she sees in the mirror when she looks in it, but someone must have messed with her mirror. She has no idea how beautiful she is.
The guys are all over her, and she never even notices.

I'm not even gonna lie internet, I'm jealous of her. I think I always have been. Ever since the day we met in pre-school.
It doesn't mean I secretly hate her. Its not like we're Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl.
I love her like the sister I never had.
Doesn't mean I can't envy her.

Anyway, he likes her so much. Its so obvious. Almost painfully obvious. He finds excuses to touch her, talk to her whenever he can, and he flirts with her like mad.
I feel bad for Hollister, he bounced back so fast. :/

And I know that he's one of the worst guys at our school, and she's seen the crap he's put me through, but what can I say? I can tell she's starting to like him back.
It's Fiddy. It's like he knows the magic spell for girls to fall in love with him, and it works on almost any girl he chases after. I would know, I've fallen victim to it twice.
Damn him and his bloody irrestistable charm.
D:<

I can only hope Rosie comes to her senses before it's too late.


As for me, lovelies, as I said before, I'm done with guys for now.
I'm waiting until I find one worth waiting for.


xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Well, Internet, it's been a while.

I'm sick today, so I thought I would blog to my little heart's content. Besides, there has been alot thats happened! :0

Well, first of all, Fiddy.
Hoo boy, where do I start?

First, let me start with the other girl. Let's call her Hollister.

Okay, so, long story short, I ended up being further convinced that Fiddy liked me. We started talking more, we shared hot chocolate at one of the football games....
and okay, maybe I started to like him too.

...Okay! So I totally started liking him back! I admit it!
At least, I thought it was back. But later I was convinced that it was more me than him. Because, when little miss Hollister comes around and tells him that she likes him, he forgets I'm even alive!
All the staring stops, he stops talking to me, all of that! Like I was chopped liver or something!

I was upset about it for a little while, but I got over it in about 2 weeks, 3 weeks tops.
What? That's much better considering the time I spent getting over Ricky Bobby.
I was actually very proud of myself.

And, yeah, Fiddy and Hollister became inseprable over those 3 to 4 weeks. They talked on the phone all the time, they talked between classes (don't ask how I know, I have sources! haha), flirted during lunch. They even slow-danced during homecoming. It killed me to watch, even as I was getting over it.

Then, out of the blue last week, he texts her and tells her he just wants to be friends. Totally out of the blue. I didn't understand, they were so close. I hear that Hollister is still totally heartbroken over it, and her status updates on myspace show it.
Then, thinking back, I realized that in the last few weeks of their 'thing', maybe the last two, Fiddy started staring at me again. Like, alot. As much as he did before. And he started finding excuses to come near me, even if he didn't talk to me. Just like before!

My best friend helped me figure this out, she watches him during every 5th period (her, me, and Fiddy have this class together) and she says he looks at me every chance he gets. And I believe her too, because there will be times that I happend to glance up at him (not volunarily, like if there was a person near him talking, I would look over at that side of the room and accidentally look at him) and he would be staring me down. It kind freaks me out. Like, how long had he been looking?
It makes me nervous when guys look at me. D:
I get all shaky and clumsy...it's embarrassing! Dx

So....yeah. I can't help but feel bad for Hollister. He dumped her exactly like he dumped me. :/
And I've felt that before. Not good at all.

Buuuuut, I'm proud to say, I don't like anybody at the moment.
:]]

It's too much work. Plus, I thought it over a long time, and guys just aren't worth it at this age. Espacially the guys at my school. I swear, they're the worst. I wouldn't date any of them.
They're all hot jerks.
No, jerks isn't the word for them.
They're dicks.

And then the ones that aren't are either weird, stalkerish, or saints that wouldn't kiss anyone until after they're married.

Can't there just be any decent guys in this lame state?
Ones that aren't taken?
Or gay?
Please? D:

That reminds me, I just started the Twilight series two weeks ago. It is absolutely incredible. And, let me tell you, I don't read unless I find an incredible page-turner, and boy, was this a page-turner. I couldn't put the first one down. It was about 600+ pages, and I finished it in less than a week. I let my best friend borrow it, and she finished it in 2 and a half days.
It's not cliche at all, like I thought it would be. Stephenie Meyer is an amazing author, and if you love Romance/Action movies or books, you will love Twilight. Just read the first book, you definately won't be disappointed. :]]



xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Hey internetttt.

So, I was talking to one of my girlfriends about Fiddy (lets call her Jessica Simpson....don't ask. she just looks like her. xD ) and she just happens to be very good friends with him. Beforehand, I had asked her who she wanted to go to Homecoming with, and afterwards, she asked me the same question. Feeling a bit under pressure, I said maybe Fiddy. But I also said I wasn't completely sure, and that I only though maybe because I thought that maybe he liked me. (Heck, I'm pretty sure he does.)
So she thought it was totally adorable and everything, and she said that she would talk to him about me. Without saying that I brought him up and everything, of course.
That was about a week ago.

Then, last night at the home football game, we talked about it.
She said it was 'still a maybe' and that 'he wasn't sure about it because he thinks that it would be awkward' since we 'never talk', and he didn't think I 'liked him at all'.
And so I was like, 'Oh, thats it?? No problem!' And so I text him, right then and there, thinking 'I'm good at getting to know people by texting them!'
Well, there was two problems with this theory.

1. He didn't even answer.
2. Now he probably thinks I'm a freak, because I never talk to him at school, but then out of the blue I suddenly text him. Yeah, smooth.

I even told Jessica Simpson about the 'not answering' part. She thought it was stupid too.
Now, it's not even like I haven't tried or anything. Because I have, and he didn't even do anything. If anything, I think it made matters worse.
Besides, if he doesn't even want to go with me, I'd rather not go with him.I'd rather he really seriously asked me because he wanted to go with me, not because I was last resort. He also said he doesn't know if he really wants to go with anyone, because he wants to go stag. Okay, then go!
It's not like I'm going to die if I don't get asked to Homecoming, espacially by him. Quite honestly, I don't care. It's not like I'm in love with him or anything. If he likes me, okay. (By the way, she said he didn't like me like that, but I still think he does, whether he wants to admit it or not.) So, he needs to make up his mind.
Personally, I think it would be alot more fun and have alot less pressure to not have a date. You know, to be the girl nobody can have. Oooooh. It even sounds cool.
xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Hey internet.


So.......you'll never believe this.

Well, actually, after the last news, this isn't that shocking. BUT-
My best friend actually informed me about this one. I hadn't noticed at all.

So, there's a new guy. Lets call him Amazon.
You know how I said Fiddy put me as his number 5 on myspace??
Well, that was on Wednesday. Supposedly, at the same exact time, he AND Amazon added me to their top friends as their number 5.

Um, Internet. Me and Amazon talk every once in a few months. Maybe. I have no classes with him, we've never been that close at all. He's one of the hottest guys in the whole school, too. All the girls are all over him.
This is why I find this weird. Espacially since they did it at the same time....

I think they're really up to something.
Whatever it is, I'm not falling for it. :/

We'll see what happens.

xo Hopeless Romantic

PS: Homecoming is October 11th! My first dance!! ....I doubt I'll be asked by anyone, so good thing I have my friends. ^^;

Labels: freshman year

Holy crap, Internet.

Today, I've had two of the biggest shocks of my life.

First: Fiddy.
You know how I said I though that there was a small chance of him possibly liking me? Well, after telling my friends and everything, they acted like they didn't agree with me at all. So I was like, 'Okay, maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions and making things up.'

Um, internatz,
I got THE MOST OBVIOUS and CLEAR SIGN IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE that he likes me.
So, on myspace, he's the type of person to only put his completely close friends-like-family top friends in his top 8. Well, okay. Today, I log onto myspace. I look at my friend updates. Oh, look, Fiddy made an update to his profile. He's one of the few that did. I click to his page, curious and nonchalant. I take a good look at his profile, but I don't notice anything different (his profile is really boring, surprisingly, so I would notice. ). Then I look closer, on the right side of his profile. Hundreds of comments from girls, as usual. But hold on, he changed his top friends. Now, instead of a top 8, he has a top 5. And the first 4 'people' aren't people at all, they're a music group and three skate companies.
But wait a minute. Something was weird. For some reason, I saw a picture of myself after those 'people'. Then it hit me.

I was in Fiddy's top friends.

AND not to mention THAT...but I was the only person in his top friends.

At the time, I was on the phone with one of my best friends. And in the middle of the sentence. I was pretty much sitting there going "OH MY GOD!!!!" for a straight two minutes. Hahahah. She was like, 'What? What?!?! What's wrong?' It was great.
Anyway, yeah, that pretty much confirms it.

I can't even believe it.....the hottest guy in our grade likes me.

....What the hell do I do!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
D:


Another shock: I made it into a band I auditioned for, and also one about 35 other people auditioned for. I made it. When I found out, I started crying. I'm still in shock. And it's a school band, so we'll be performing in front of the whole high school almost every week.


....I don't know what to do!!!! I'm freaking out about everything!!!!
Ahhhhhh!!!!!

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

So, my stupid guy friend, Johnny, had to bring stupid Ricky Bobby up again.
I hadn't thought about him for so long!!! I was so mad at him.


...I also haven't cried over him in so long.
Twice today.
D:


damn, damn, damn.

excuse my french.


But seriously.
Maybe I just needed a good, last cry over him. Now that's it. I'm done crying over him.
And we'll see how long I last when he vists in December.
Yeah, thats right.

So hopefully everything heals before then, so I won't run up to him and kick him in the balls.



xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, ricky bobby

I'm not mad or anything. I just didn't feel like being creative with the title. hahahah

So, after pretty much 3 weeks of being back to school, I realized this.

My heart is pretty much completely healed, and I'm rearing to move on. :]

Thats right, I said rearing.
Cause I'm fly like that.

Anyway, I don't like anyone completely yet, but I have my eye on a few people:
Robby.
A boy I'll call Korea. 'Cause that's where he's from.
And a little playboy I'll call Fiddy, because he acts like some skater-wannabe-gangster. But he's not even close. ;]

You already know about Robby....but, let's talk about Korea!
He's an amazingly hot/cute foreign exchange student. I swear, he's so hot, he could be a k-pop star! D':
And, for some reason, I'm just really attracted to him. It's a little challenging to talk to him, though. hahaha. More later on him!

Then, Fiddy. So, I don't really like him, I'm just attracted to him. Which I shouldn't be, even though he's my type (look-wise). Its just that I liked him last year before Ricky Bobby, and in the process, I tried to get closer to him. Only then did I realize who he really is.
He's a conceited, cocky, completely self centered jerk that only cares about himself feelings-wise. He's shallow and only dates girls that are 'hot' and doesn't care about their personality at all, and he acts like he is God's gift to teenage girls. Um, FYI, Fiddy: the Jonas Brothers are God's gift to teenage girls. Time to accept it.
Anyway, long story short, he's horrible. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's completely hot. Nobody should be allowed to be as hot as he is. I mean, he's not Joe Jonas hot, but he's pretty close. It's too bad his personality gets him nowhere with girls.

So, why did I name him in the first place??
Well, all my friends are saying all signs point to him liking me.
And get this. They want me to get even with him!! As in, break his heart like he did to those girls before!
Kind of like in John Tucker Must Die. Actually, he's quite the equivalent to John Tucker. Hmmm...actually, he could be a John Tucker clone.

But anyway, I could never break someone's heart on purpose. Espacially since I just experienced the same thing.
I could never put someone through that on my part. I just couldn't.



So we'll see what happens next. ;]

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Hey Internet!

So......I sort of lied. hahahah. I tried to write a blog before, but my computer crapped out.

And- thats right! School has started. Today was the second day of school.
We have an insane number of new kids this year. Seriously! The first day, I could have gotten whiplash from trying to look at all of them. xD

And theres TONS of new hot guys. Annnnnd, guess what? There was a guy that used to go to our school way back in Elementary and then left, but now he's back. I had a huge crush on him in 3rd grade, and I haven't seen him in 6 years!
ummm, internet...

HE. IS. SO. HOT.

I mean, he went from a cute little boy to a FIIIINE PIECE OF TEENAGE BOY CAKE. D; wow.
And I'm not sure, but maybe there might be a possibility of a re-crush. :O
Just in case, lets call him Robby. ;D

And theres another new guy thats gotten my slight possible interest....lets call him Jerry. He wants to be a musician when he's older, kinda like me! And he's cute and dresses great.

I don't have a crush on anyone yet, but I'll keep you updateddd.

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

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