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"This song is talking to the person you haven't even met yet. Maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you're gonna be. You just have to wait your turn. He's out there, she's out there. They're just learning what to contrast you against."






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June 14th, a.k.a. the day my life changed again.}
Monday, June 25, 2012 | 3:36 PM | 0Comment

Wow, internet. Where to begin?

This'll be another long one, so bear with me guys.

By the way, yes. It's me. Just me. Don't worry, I won't be writing anymore articles on here, it's just that I felt like I really had to write that, to maybe help those out there starting online school that are as totally clueless like I had been. I know I would have loved any sort of advice, or reassurance, about it.

ANYWAY. Wow. I can't believe it's taken me over a week to write this.

Tbh I think that up until now I was still so freaked out and dazed about everything, and I don't think I would have been able to collect my thoughts adequately enough. I'm still a little dazed about it, though. Sometimes when I think back on it, it just feels like a dream, sometimes vivid, sometimes fuzzier. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

So. June 14th, 2012. I type it out like that because I don't think I'll forget this day for a long, long time.

The day started out oddly. I remember specifically waking up and just being cranky. This generally happens when I go to bed in the wee hours of the early morning, which I'm sure I did, because summertime and all. Even if I go to bed at like 4 but sleep until like 11 or 12, I'm still horribly cranky. I'm not sure why, but there ya go.

So, I wake up at like 12ish, I'm pissy, and maybe 15 minutes after that, my mom knocks on my door. When I answer, 'Yeah?' I'm sitting up in bed, literally still waking up and in my pajamas. And my mom, says in a loud whisper, "Jazz is here."

Now, this bewilders me. Not only because to me, it's still the morning, but also because the last time I saw Jazz, it was at her graduation.

Let me tell you, it was weird going to my old school's graduation. I think that was my final realization that it really was my old school. I looked at that graduating class, saw some kids that I'd know since I was four or five years old, and realized that I wasn't graduating with them.
Up until then, I'd always called it 'my old school' and acknowledged that it was something not in my life anymore, but I think a small part of me (even if it was the most microscopic of the microscopic) still actually believed that I still belonged there. I mean, the friends I met there are basically still my social circle. And like I said, some of those people I've known since I was a really tiny person, like Best Friend Rose, so it's almost as if...as if I've never known anything else. My whole life growing up was that school.


For public schools, it's different. You go to a public elementary school for 5-6 years (if you don't switch schools all the time), and then you leave. And then you go to a public middle school for 3 years, and again, if you don't switch schools, you go to school with those people for 3 years. And then you leave. And then same goes for the 4 years of high school. But for me, from when I was 4 years old to when I left at 16, that place...was my entire childhood. 
And I think I'd had such a hard time letting go of that place because it was like letting go of my childhood, and letting go of all the memories I'd had there. My life revolved around that place for so long that part of me still felt attached.

But when I saw my fellow classmates graduate, it's like that door finally closed. Seeing that they were all graduating, all the kids I grew up with, and moving on from that school, I could finally let go. It's like the attachment that I had to that place has released.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry. I thought if there was any graduation I cried rivers at (besides my own, lol) it would be Best Friend Rosie's and Jazz's and all my old classmates. But I didn't. Not at all. Not even afterwards. Instead I almost just felt this...relief. It sounds awful, I know. And hell, I didn't even go there anymore, so it shouldn't have mattered anyway. But I was relieved, and I didn't know if it was more for me or for them. But one thing I know I was relieved about was this: although there were the select few kids still going there that I'd gone to elementary school with, the rest, I couldn't wait to never see them again. Which is normal to feel, I'm sure. Because as much as I'd liked some of the people that went there, others I couldn't wait to get away from. Adios, bitches. See you at the 20 year reunion.

ANYWAY, THAT WASN'T EVEN MY POINT. June 14th, right. Lol. Sorry!

My point was that when I saw Jazz at her graduation, it was...awkward at best. Considering before that, the last time we talked was before my birthday, which I was kinda upset about because she had not even wished me a happy birthday. Not once. Not even a birthday text. So that whole time we hadn't talked, even though I'd tried to text her. I thought I'd done something to piss her off, BUT, as it turned out, she'd been texting my old number for the whole two months we hadn't talked, and though that I was mad at her. Purely a mis-communication.

So, after mom told me to hurry up and get ready because I had a guest downstairs, she shut the door and left me to scurry around my room, flustered and confused because I hate it when people show up unannounced and I was also still trying to remember my own name. Eventually I figured out how to put some sweats on and I ventured downstairs, a bit wary. When I came into the living room, though, immediately Jazz explained to me what happened with the texting thing, also adding that she'd dropped her phone in the toilet and lost half of her contact information, which explains why she was texting my old number.

So after that I was less wary, but still cranky, which is why when Jazz asked if I wanted to go out for lunch, I almost immediately turned it down. Jazz asked why not, and I really couldn't come up with more of an excuse other than 'because I just woke up' and 'because I look like crap'. Jazz countered all of my excuses, and then my mom joined in, making it two against one and clearly I lost.

I went upstairs to shower after that, put together the cutest outfit I could for the weather (it was blazing hot, but I hadn't shaved my legs, haha. So white jeans it was!) and put my wet hair in a ponytail and put mascara on and sucked it up as we left the house and got into Jazz's car.

I was still pretty prickly as we drove away, but then as we talked and as we pulled into the Panda Express parking lot, I was feeling a little brighter. We walked into the restaurant (and this random guy said hi to us from his car for some reason, idk.) and got some food, and then I was in a much better mood.

We talked about a lot of stuff, basically just catching up on everything we'd missed the past few months, and when she asked how I'd been doing, I decided to just be honest and come clean about everything I'd been feeling and going through the past few months, and I mean everything. Like everything I've been whining about on here for months, lol. And then out of nowhere, we started talking about Rosie, and for some reason I started crying. In the middle of Panda Express. Yeah. Super embarrassing. But Jazz just sat patiently and understandingly, not embarrassed in the slightest. (But what we talked about, I'll save for another entry.)

So after I thoroughly embarrassed myself, and hardly ate any of my food, I got a takeaway box and we decided to go head to the bookstore to look around. After getting in the car, though, Jazz asked if I liked eclairs. I told her I had never had one, and she asked if I wanted to go by the bakery and try one. (But secretly, I know this is mostly just a ploy to get me to meet her boyfriend. I've seen her so little lately, he hasn't even come up on here, but they've been dating for a few months now. Online school kid like me, and he had gone to my old school before switching to online school. But I'd never actually met him before, since he went to my old school after I'd already left. She's been wanting me to meet him for a good while now, so I pretty much saw this coming, haha.) So I say sure, because who in their right mind would turn down a fresh pastry? NOT THIS GIRL.

So we head over to this place, and it's a cute little locally owned Dutch bakery, and as soon as you walk in you're greeted by 3 little table and chair sets and the smell of baking sweets. Super cute. And then while we're waiting while a couple ahead of us orders what they want, Jazz and I looked at everything they have. There's the desserts, of course, but then they have a bunch of Dutch and German candy and snacks, too. Did I mention I want to go back there? Because I do. Badly.

Then a guy who I assume to be her boyfriend, Dan*, comes out, and she greets him cheerfully. They exchange some cute couple-y banter, and then Jazz introduces us. He was slightly reserved, and tall, but seems very nice. It's not hard to see why Jazz would like this guy so much.

After all that, Jazz asks for an eclair, and I actually go for the tiramasu. (I know I know, I copped out. But I LOVE TIRAMASU.) Then I also get two candy necklaces, because they're fifty cents each. I pay for both of our stuff, and after taking to Dan some more, we eat our desserts. My tiramasu was made in heaven and then fell through the clouds and down to Earth. I swear. That stuff was unearthly. And when Jazz couldn't finish the last bite of her eclair, I ate it, and it was pretty dang good too. (A little bit too rich for my taste, though. But still good.)

So after finishing, and saying bye to Dan, we head over to Barnes and Noble. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for my wallet, I'd spent all of my money at the bakery (though to be fair I didn't have that much on me in the first place), so I couldn't buy anything while we were there. Because, hoo boy. Trust me. Did I want to buy things. I haven't been to the bookstore since my birthday (Yes! You heard right! Since my birthday. Don't know how I've survived this long tbh.) and I've accumulated quite a long 'to buy' book list. I almost had to physically restrain myself from stuffing books down my shirt and making a run for the doors, lol.

While we were there, my dad called to ask me what I wanted for dinner from the place that my mom and dad were eating for their anniversary (yeah, incidentally this was their anniversary, too. 31st anniversary. My heroes.) and I told him as quietly as I could because people were glaring at me because apparently answering phone calls in Barnes and Noble is against the law. So yeah, they'd order for me and just bring it home in a box for me. Outback Steakhouse. (It was delicious, btw.)

So when we were done at Barnes and Noble, and Jazz got a Father's Day gift for her dad, as well as a book I've been wanting for a good while (which I told her that she HAD to let me borrow asap!). And then we got back in the car, getting ready to head back to Jazz's house, where my parents would pick me up.

I remember the drive back to her house very vividly. As we were leaving the Barnes and Noble parking lot, I very specifically remember saying, "This was a nice day, wasn't it? This was fun." and then Jazz agreeing with me enthusiastically, and then we both agreed to do it more often. A few songs came on the radio that we liked, and we turned it up louder and obnoxiously sang along, and as we sang it began to rain, and we pointed out each raindrop as it fell on the windshield, because we're 10 year olds.

Then.

We were driving down a very busy main road, and it was oddly backed up for a good while. We wondered why until we saw a few police cars and an ambulance stopped by a stalled car. I also remember Jazz very specifically saying, "Do you think they hit a pedestrian?" while we gazed out the windows at it.

"I don't know," I said, staring. I couldn't see anyone hurt.

"That's what it looks like to me," said Jazz. "Like they hit a pedestrian."

Maybe 2 minutes later, it happened. We were literally 3 minutes from Jazz house, but still on the main road. Cars were still backed up, so we were going slightly slower than usual, and Jazz decides to get into the turning lane. We're going normal speed now, maybe 5 to 6 mph under the speed limit.

In not even two blinks, it happens.

For a split second I see this man darting through the cars in the lane next to ours. And then he LEAPS IN FRONT OF OUR CAR.

It seriously happens before I can process what's happening, and even when I think on it now, I only remember certain details.

I remember Jazz slamming on the breaks, but the immediate thought in my mind that we were going too fast and we wouldn't stop fast enough to avoid him.

I remember covering my eyes with my hands because I knew it wasn't going to turn out well.

I remember hearing him hit the car and crashing into the windshield, and the deafening sound of breaking glass.

I remember Jazz screaming loudly and then hearing myself screaming too, although I don't remember even stopping to think to scream. It's like it just tore out of me automatically, as a basic primal response, because I've literally never been so scared in my life and for a few seconds I genuinely thought, "What if I die right now?"

It was all over in a few seconds, but it felt like hours. For a moment or two Jazz and I just sat there going, "Oh my god, oh my god."

Then Jazz shouts, "Is he okay??"

And I shake my head and somehow say, "Go check, go check!" And I say somehow because at that moment I was in a huge daze, and I don't even know how I managed to formulate that response.

So Jazz jumps from her seat and throws the door open and then spins around and yells, "Call 911!" And it takes me a second to realize that she's talking to me, because I've never been in a situation where I've had to call 911 before. So after she gets out, I just sit there for another few moments before realizing that I need to take out my phone now and call 911.

I rummage through my purse for a good thirty seconds, almost panicking that I'd somehow lost my phone between then and Barnes and Noble, but I find it and then curse under my breath when I realize that the battery is low. I unlock the screen and stare at it some more, forgetting how it works all of a sudden, and then I remember and figure out how to dial the numbers with shaking hands. Then I forget to hit the talk button after dialing. And then I realize I've been sitting in the car this whole time, and I'm suddenly scared shitless of this car and I jump out of it and slam the door, almost not remembering to stay away from the traffic speeding by mere feet away from the car door.

(After telling my parents about this later, my mom tells me I was in shock, but I really just felt like an idiot. We hit a man with our car, for all I knew his life DEPENDED on me, and I couldn't remember how to use my phone to call 911.)

I walk to the other side of the car where I see Jazz knelt next to the man, who's laying down on the concrete median and bleeding from his head, and there are at least five or six other people there gathered around them both looking concerned. There was also other people stopped in their cars and looking on gape-mouthed in the lane next to ours and on the other side of the median. I briefly notice other random details--one of the guy's shoes right in front of me on the ground, along with his broken sunglasses, his other shoe a good fifteen feet away, and a chunk of his long hair stuck on the jagged edges of the windshield.

Meanwhile I was still trying to figure out how my phone worked. Eventually I successfully dialed it, and it was ringing, but by now there were 3 other people around me, including Jazz, that were on the line with operators already, and the line just kept ringing and ringing and because I wasn't in my right mind I got frustrated and hung up before anybody answered. Not smart, I know. Because in the following hour they kept trying to call me back, but I ignored all their calls. Also stupid. But I felt so worthless at that moment because it had taken me so long and Jazz was counting on me and I'd failed. And I also had the irrational fear that when they did pick up, I would have no clue what to say, because I couldn't think straight. Still pretty disappointed in myself for this, honestly. But I was just so freaked out.

So everyone was standing around the guy and he was groaning in pain(we found out later that he's my age, 19 years old), and there were two men, one in an Air Force uniform and one in a dress shirt and pants (business man?) stabilizing him and talking to him until the paramedics got there. Among the others there was a woman, and younger boy, maybe 13 or so, that looked like her son, and then another man that I can't even remember the face of. Again, they were all gathered around him, along with Jazz, and I was literally standing six feet away with my hands covering my mouth, frozen.

I swear I didn't do this on purpose, or consciously, it was just like I couldn't even make myself move. Adrenaline was still rushing through me and my heart was pounding and I was so scared. For him, for what just happened, and in general. I don't think I've been this scared in my life.

Police came much quicker than I'd expected, but they had literally been just yards away at the other accident, so I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. Then after the police came, the firemen and ambulance came all at once, only I don't even remember hearing their sirens coming, it was like they just appeared. I think it was around this time when it finally hit me and Jazz, because Jazz started to freak out. Up until then, she'd been surprisingly calm and collected and had handled it really well, but then she started to cry and hyperventilate. All I could do was try to soothe her and give her lots of hugs, and actually the other people there were trying to comfort her too, all telling her there was no way she could have seen him, even though they were complete strangers.

I told her I'd call her dad for her because she couldn't bring herself to do it, and suddenly I could remember how to use my phone again, and I was the calm one. It took a few numbers, but I got a hold of him and told him in the calmest voice I could manage that we'd been in an accident and that the other person was hurt, but we were both home. Thankfully, he was home at the time, and it took him five minutes to get there. After he got there and began comforting Jazz, I called my dad, and told him that me and Jazz would be a little late getting to her house because something happened, but that we were both okay and not to worry.

I didn't tell him right off the bat that I'd been in an accident because I know them so well and I KNOW they would have been worried sick and would have dropped everything to get to me, anniversary or not, but I would have felt awful for scaring them like that, especially after such a nice anniversary dinner. I figured it would just be better to tell them in person so that they could see that I was fine, that Jazz was fine, and that everything was okay. (They thanked me for this later, because my dad said, as I'd predicted, that they would have really freaked out if I told them over the phone.)

Everything else after that happened in a blur. The paramedics took the guy away in an ambulance, and then most of the other people left except for the mother and her son. (I wish I'd gotten the chance to thank the others, though, they were so nice to us.) A very handsome fireman asked us some questions (not even exaggerating. He looked like a model posing in a firemen costume in a calendar, not like an actual fireman.), and then a policeman asked us some questions after that. Another few firemen took Jazz's blood pressure, and then Jazz's brother and his wife showed up. After that, we filled out some forms, and the policeman took some measurements of the scene, and the firemen left while waving at us. Then the mom and her son left after  filling out witness forms, giving us both kind words of encouragement. And then it was all over, and then we left to Jazz's house.

Me and Jazz and Jazz's sister in law all rode in Jazz's dad's car, while her brother drove her car. Needless to say, when my parents saw Jazz's car drive up with a shattered windshield, they were shocked, but I explained everything right away so they didn't have time to freak out.

Since then, we've found out that the guy we hit is fine. Just got a deep cut on the back of his head and some bruises on his legs, which is actually a miracle, because he could be dead right now. I'm still amazed at this. It could have been so much worse. As soon as we'd hit him, I was sure he'd be dead, but he isn't, and with no broken bones to top it all off. You don't see that everyday, and I'm really so glad he's okay. (Also, weird fact--this guy named Brad* that Jazz and I went to school with and were in a band with very briefly, he has his own band now, and this kid--this kid that we hit--is the bassist in his band. I KNOW. What are the odds? Small world, really small world.)

Looking back, I still can't believe it happened. It was probably the scariest thing that I've ever been though. But, in a weird sort of way, I'm glad I went through it. Because that was first ever car accident, and it was Jazz's first car accident since getting her license. And I'm glad we were there for each other for this.

You know, before this day, I was unsure about where our friendship was going, and I was positive that we'd never be as close as we were before. But after June 14th, I'm sure of it: we'll be friends for life. I think this day was a sign that of that, and this whole thing made us even closer than before.

Also in a weird sort of way, I think it was fate. It sounds crazy, I know, but I mean, think about it. What if we had stayed in Barnes and Noble longer? What if we'd never gone to the bakery? What if we'd just stopped at Panda Express and then I went back home? Where would our friendship be? Would it be exactly like it had been before all of this happened?

Maybe it was a coincidence, but it was just the coincidence that our friendship needed. Despite all the crap we'd gone through our senior year, I for sure know it now: Jazz and I are meant to be friends.

And this is going to sound so screwed up and weird, so let me try and say this in the best way possible: Even this accident was awful, and I'll probably never see a pedestrian run across a busy street again without freaking out, also in a way, I'm glad it happened. Because it was my reality check.

For me it was just another reminder of how unpredictable life can be, and how quickly it can change, and why that's why I can't live my life waiting around anymore. (A.k.a., the past three school years.) If I sit around waiting for things to happen, I end up sitting around and wasting my time, time I could have used doing something great. This sounds dramatic, but I've had to consider this: What if that accident had been much worse? What if everyone involved had been seriously injured, or worse? We're lucky that Jazz and I weren't, not to mention there was not a scratch on us. And even luckier that the guy wasn't seriously injured, or even dead.

It's a privilege for all of us to be alive right now. If I had gone having lived my life they way it's been......

I can't even finish that sentence. The thought itself horrifies me.

No more waiting.


No more being afraid to try.


No more living in my room day after day. 


I'm so tired of this. It's time to change. It's time to live.

For a few days after this had happened, I was still freaked out, and I was super sore, so I took it easy for a few days and got my rest. But now I'm okay.
I was mostly concerned about Jazz, considering she was the one driving, and considering her past and all (for  the record, her mom died in a car accident when she was 11) I was worried about how she'd take it, and for a while she was pretty upset, but I think she's doing all right, now. As far as I know, anyway. But I'm still worried, not gonna lie. Jazz tends to bottle things up when something's bothering her, so maybe I'll see when I see her in person next.

In the meantime, it's taking smaller steps to change for me. We found a great house, and it looks like that's the one we'll be moving to. We need to be out of this house by next Sunday, so this'll be the last week in this house. I'm excited about the new house, but I'm also still pretty sad about leaving this one.

I just need to cherish my last days in this house as best I can.

xo Hopeless Romantic 

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The Pros and Cons of Online High School.}
Tuesday, June 5, 2012 | 6:08 PM | 0Comment

Hello, reader.

You may or may not know who I am, or what my blog is. But if you found this entry, hello. I wrote this for you, and you only!

Hah. Kidding. I don't even know you. But I do know that if you've found this specific entry of mine, then it means you're either in online school, or about to enroll in online school, have a child in online school, or are just distantly remotely interested in online school. And I'm sure you've been looking for some outside opinions of online school, or if you're interested in it, are looking to see how kids in online schools like it. I know I was.

Before I started online school, and when I was just starting it at the beginning of my sophomore year, I had never even heard of the concept of online school before. Seriously. I didn't know anybody involved in online school, I never heard or saw advertisements for them, I hardly even understood what it was. And before I started, I wish I had someone to tell me all of the quirks, challenges, and all-around aspects of online schooling. Well, you found me. So I'm your girl! My name is Sarah, nice to meet you.

My goal here is to not glamorize my good experiences and not exaggerate my bad ones. My goal is to tell you, random Internet citizen, my complete honest opinion and experiences of my online school career. There will be plenty of people that don't feel the same way I do, and I can't claim to know how other people feel about their online school experience. I will, however, tell you completely and honestly how I feel about it, and you may interpret them as you may.

So, let's start with the Pros, shall we?


  1. First, the most obvious: Pajamas. Oh, yes. The most obvious and probably single-handedly the best aspect of online school. Wake up in the morning, have some breakfast. Get dressed. No? Don't feel like it? Well, good news! YOU DON'T HAVE TO. No muss and fuss of getting ready in the morning whilst being half awake, trying to flat iron your hair without dropping the iron on your face or accidentally squeezing Neosporin on your tooth brush instead of toothpaste. (That hasn't happened to you? Just me? Oh okay.) Just get up, eat, and dive in. Plus, you can sleep in later than kids who go to brick and mortar. (That phrase is a homeschooler thing. You'll get used to it.) Mornings are 70% percent less painful. Except Monday mornings, I can't promise anything about Monday mornings.
  2. Breakfast? Lunch? Real meals? I forgot those existed. See, when I went to a brick and mortar school (a private school from Preschool all the way into the ninth grade, to be exact) I was so used to...not really eating until dinner time. What I mean is that I didn't eat a lot of good meals until dinner most of the time. I'd get up for school, rush to get ready for school, and sometimes if I was lucky I'd get to bring a Poptart or dry cereal in the car for breakfast. It would fill me up for a little while, and then from about 9 am on I would be starving to death until lunchtime. In elementary school I packed lunches, but for middle school I got 'hot lunches'. Hot lunches meant nachos from the cafeteria, some candy from the vending machine, and soda. Yeah. Not the best meal. The funny thing is, after I started online school, I actually learned to cook for myself, and I trimmed down a little bit because I was eating healthier. And not only did I trim down, but I started to feel better too, and had more energy. Not that I'm saying that all online school kids can cook, but having those different options at home could end up being much healthier. But onto my next point...
  3. Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies. Cooking was just one of the hobbies I picked up after I started online school. (Although I remember this once instance during sophomore year when I finished work early one day, and so I decided on impulse to bake a cake. No joke. I baked a cake. And it was delicious.) Finding that I had much more free time during the day than I used to, considering I would finish school work around 12 or so rather than 2 or 3, I would start looking for things to do. Before I knew it, I was reading all the time, which I loved before, but I love even more now. Then, I discovered a love for writing, and I did that in my free time too. And drawing. (In fact, this blog is something I frequented on a lot.) And that's why you see tons of homeschooled kids with crazy talents because we have all this free time to work on stuff that we love to do. And as a result of that, we're not going off and doing stupid, dangerous things just because we're bored. Honestly, the whole time I was in online school, I was never bored. I ALWAYS had something to do, whether it was school work or one of my many hobbies, and honestly there's nothing more fulfilling. 
  4. See a snowstorm in the forecast for tomorrow or the next day? Buckle down today and do today's work, and then do the work for the day that the snowstorm's supposed to roll in. And BAM. Looks like you got a snow day. Do it, seriously. You get the day off in the end, and when you tell people you did two day's work in one, they'll think you're like a prodigy or something. It's effing awesome.
  5. I took school more seriously. As long as I'd been going to my old brick and mortar private school, I did...okay. Grade wise. Just enough to get by. I never studied, and yet still managed to pass my classes, so I never felt the need to try harder. The curriculum was more challenging than public school would have been, yet, since I'd gone to the private school my whole life, I didn't feel the challenge. It wasn't until I switched to online school that I felt challenged, because here's the thing: You actually have to do the work. Imagine that. And here's what I wish someone would have told me before I started: You don't read your textbook and do the assignments? Nice try. It'll get you through the lessons quicker, but guess what? You don't pass. You fail your quizzes, you fail your tests, and that's that. In brick and mortar, if you're real careful, you can get away with copying your friend's worksheet or homework. But this? Nope. That doesn't fly. Which means you're all on your own and you actually have to...gasp...learn. I can honestly say I remember more of what I've learned in Science and Math in my three years of online school than what I learned through all of middle school and my freshman year. Really. 
  6. More individualized learning. Despite being at home and doing my work by myself, my teachers were always available when I needed their help. 'Teachers?' you say. 'But how could you have teachers? It's all online.' Correct you are, compadre. But the awesome thing about online school is that it's online. You know, where super fast lightning speed email is. And also IM. And they can even be contacted over the phone, if you prefer to do it that way. Some teachers work at a main office, and some work from home (depends on which school you use), but the point is that they're almost always available. I have to admit, when I first started online school, this concept freaked me out a little. Calling and emailing your teachers almost seemed too personal, or too weird, at first. But emailing systems are usually only on the school website, so neither of you are using personal accounts. Also, the majority of the time teachers use business lines for school, so no worries about calling them at a bad time or while they're on the phone with their Great Aunt Gertrude, or something. It's all legit. And they can help you when you need it, right there on the spot, rather than you having to wave your hand frantically from the back of the classroom to get their attention, or, ugh, having to speak up and ask a question when no one else is (I had always HATED doing that. So embarrassing.). Just make sure you get the help when you need it, because if you never ask anyone for help on a concept or an assignment and you need it a lot, that's when things get messy.
  7. I learned self motivation. One thing I definitely didn't have before online schooling was self motivation. Like I mentioned before, I hardly ever did my work in brick and mortar. If I did do it, it was because I rushed and half-assed through the worksheet at the end of class so I wouldn't have to take it home. Or I got a study hall that semester and rushed through it then, but even then, I wasn't really trying. So after I started online school, I found myself actually wanting to try. So then I did try. And I did really well. And I learned that I was much smarter than I gave myself credit for. So when I did well, I continued to try my best at everything I did for school. Sometimes I didn't do well, and when I didn't, I picked myself up and tried even harder the next time. This gave me a sense of confidence in school that I'd never had before, and now I know that I am smart and I can do well in school. That's why I'm not scared about college work, because I know that if I set my mind to it, that I can do it. And that's more than I could've said after all of my years of my old private school. That's saying something, I think.
  8. Maturity? Check. Self Esteem? Check. Okay. I don't want to toot my own horn here. But when I think about how I was before I started online school...it's startling. I was so different. And not necessarily in the good way. My self esteem was non-existent. Really. I had none. I was the girl that did everything everyone else did because I felt I didn't fit in. I wore what everyone was wearing, I acted how everyone else acted, I did what everyone else did. I wanted to feel normal, so I did these things so I could feel normal. Except that never worked. Not even a little bit. I still felt inferior to everybody. It sounds so cliche and over dramatic, but honestly? Online school helped me find myself. I had been trying so hard to be everyone else--anyone else but me--that I didn't even know who 'me' was. Being by myself a little bit more often, and learning to function in school without my peers surrounding me all the time, gave me the chance to think about what my goals were, what my interests were, what I liked to do and liked to wear and liked to listen to. It gave me time to think about what my morals where, and what was most important in my life. And not only has that made me a bit more mature, at least more than I'd been at my old school, it's made me happier too. Nothing better than that.
Now for some cons, because as much as I loved my time in online school, believe me, there are some.

  1. Online School? What is that? How does it work? As soon as you enroll in an online school, prepare to be inundated with questions upon questions from strangers and friends and family members alone. If I could count the amount of sheer times I've been asked about how it even works, I would probably lose count. It's understandable, really. It's a new concept. Who'd have thought that when the Internet was invented in 1989 that by 2012, there would be kids going to school using only the Internet? Pretty amazing if you think about it. (I wonder how common it'll be in another 23 years.) I've been asked if I cheat all the time. I've been asked if it's real school. I've been asked if it's super easy and do I just sleep and watch TV most of the time. (Probably the most common and annoying of all the questions, pretty presumptuous if you ask me. If someone is taking AP Trigonometry online, does that suddenly make it a cake walk compared to if you took it at a public High School? Um, no. Definitely not. I'd like to think AP Trigonometry is difficult regardless of how you take it.) I've also been asked if they're college courses instead of regular High School courses. Sigh. It gets old, trust me. But try your best to be patient and answer them as kindly as you can. (Or even sneakily hidden sarcasm works just as well.) After all, it is 2012. Maybe in another five years or so it'll be more common, and we won't have to deal with these questions as much.
  2. I won't lie to you. You will be judged. Just as every homeschooled kid since the dawn of time has had to deal with, we're the new breed of homeschoolers. And as soon as some people find out that you don't go to "real school" and do your school work at home, you'll get the look. The look has two forms, and you'll recognize either one of the looks as soon as you first see them. It's either the "Aw, you poor thing, you go to pretend school" sympathy look, or the "hoping-you're-not-a-freaky-homeschooler" look. Also something you'll get used to. Some people really won't care that you're an online-schooler, and others will think it's pretty cool, but the ones that look down on you for it? Who the hell needs 'em. Not you. Because you get to do school in your PJ's and eat cool lunches and breakfasts and get to finish your school day as early as you want. Hah hah.
  3. Outside life? What is that? What is the sun? Can I eat it? This is one aspect of online school that I didn't get right, and I'm not too proud of it. Sometimes, I could get so caught up in doing well in school and doing what I liked inside that there would be times I wouldn't leave the house for days. Now, this was just me. There are plenty online-schoolers that are super active outdoors and participate in sports and hang out with their friends everyday after school. Plenty. It just so happens that because of the busy lives of my friends, and my lifestyle (I'm not athletic. At all. So sports as an extracurricular in particular was out of the question. And my city doesn't offer many things to do for the public, at least not many I thought I would be interested in.) didn't leave much room for things I could do outside of school and my home. The thing, though, is that I should have tried something new. This is something that I struggled with, because I didn't try anything that would have, if nothing else, gotten me to leave the house once or twice a week. I also didn't have my driver's license, and both of my parents were gone during the day at work. So, because of this, I sometimes spent very long periods cooped up in the house. Guys, take my word for it: get out of the house. Take a pottery class, or a cooking class, or join a public sports team. Something. Don't do what I did. Although I had a lot of other hobbies, none of these allowed me to regularly get out of the house. This is so important. Being in the house for so long can really mess with your head, your emotions, and your general health. Seriously. Parents. Kids interested in online school. From the bottom of my heart, please don't do this. I cannot stress this enough. Keep your life balanced while in online school, and I promise you, there will be nothing better.
  4. Every once in a while, you will get a bit lazy. Even I, who found all this new found self-motivation with the start of my online-schooling, got unmotivated once in a while. Every once in a while, you'll wake up in the morning and go, 'I think I'll start school in the afternoon today.' Or you'll think, 'This Stats assignment is hard. I think I'll do it tomorrow instead.' or even, 'I want a day off today.' It's normal. I promise. Everyone does it every now and then. Some days you just don't have the steam. But don't make it a habit. Believe me. My Junior year, during the second semester, I had this huge bought of laziness where I hardly worked for two and a half weeks straight. And I paid for it towards the end of the semester, hard, because I was so behind in my work that I completely missed the deadline on two of my finals, got zeros on both of them, and utterly failed Algebra 2, leading me to take it again at the beginning of my Senior year. I also had another huge bought of laziness earlier this year, in the second semester of my Senior year (which I partially attributed to Senioritis, but still). So yeah. Ouch. Don't do this either. Please. You end up feeling unaccomplished and lazy in the end, and it's just not worth it. So yeah, take a day off if you need. But don't take a week off. Still keep in mind what's important.
  5. You're not a hermit. But it is harder to make friends. If you're like me, you have all of your friends from your old school. And that's awesome. But if there was anything I learned from this, social wise, it's that you find out who your true friends are. Some friends won't stay when you don't go to their school anymore, but the ones that stay are the ones worth keeping. And it is harder to make friends with the kids you go to school with considering...well. You can't see each other. Haha. But depending on your school, they'll make lots of opportunities for you to connect with your classmates. Mine had class discussions, and live lessons in these chatroom/video chat type things, mandatory state testing (yes, you still have to do those!), and also field trips and meet-ups (although I never got to go to any of those, unfortunately). So, this isn't exactly a con, because although it's slightly more difficult, it's not impossible. Just reach out!
So, my friend, I leave you with this: Online School can be different for everybody.

Some just do it for a few years (for various reasons), and some do it for a while, because it really works for them. (Like for instance maybe...Ashley Argota, from Buck and Skinner's Epic Adventures? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRG40vqaLGk )

Some people find it easy, so much so that they graduate early. Some people find it intolerable, and they have to go back to public school or their old school. And then there's every experience in-between. It's different for everyone. But when you start it, just give it a chance. An honest chance. Because, who knows? You might like it. You might love it.

I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but eventually, I gave it a real chance. And you know what? It changed my life. For the better. ♥

Good luck!

Sarah

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Just a slight foreword before this next entry}
| 1:50 PM | 0Comment

This next entry I'm about to write will be the very end-all of my entries about my online school experience.

In the future, of course I might mention it in passing or mention an aspect about it, but basically this entry will be everything and all the things that I have to say about my three years in online school. To my frequent readers, that's good news, because you guys won't have to hear my rants about it anymore, lol.

It'll be long, probably, but here we go!