♡ the life of a 25 year old hopeless romantic ♡

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"This song is talking to the person you haven't even met yet. Maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you're gonna be. You just have to wait your turn. He's out there, she's out there. They're just learning what to contrast you against."






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So long, sixteen year old me.}
Sunday, March 28, 2010 | 5:27 PM | 0Comment

Hey internet!

Lately, things have been pretty mellow. This week is my spring break, and I'm going to make sure that I won't take one second of freedom for granted. As always, I'm not going anywhere, but I'm sure I can manage.

Best Friend Rose and Jazz had their spring break last week, while I still had school, so it was pretty boring for me. I was supposed to go to Texas with Rose, but since we ended up having different spring breaks, it didn't work out. I was pretty disappointed about it at first, but then I got over it.

As for Jazz, she went to Seattle for spring break (while I was sitting there, doing school work, green with envy. I've wanted to go to Washington state for a while!). She's still pretty upset about Johnny, and on Jazz's request, I've had to restrain myself from making very bitchy, very scream-y phone calls to him.

Since the breakup, he's been just as jerky and he's been avoiding her still. And in the one text message he's sent her, he told her she was 'annoying him lately', except riddled with typos and spelling mistakes, as his text messages usually are. Jazz begged me not to say anything, and it took all the restraint in the world not to.

I told her she just needs to distance herself from him. She's the only one reaching out after the breakup, and it's only pushing him away further (but then again, it's not as if we need him any closer, right?). I had hoped that their breakup wouldn't be like this, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Johnny was the same way with all of his ex girlfriends. I suppose I hoped he would treat Jazz better than that.

But, I told her to just give up. Honestly, if he was putting no effort into the 'friendship' at all, she was wasting her time with him. If he really wanted to stay friends after the breakup, he would have put at least some effort into it, and he hasn't. At all. Jazz deserves much better than that asshole.

Best Friend Rose is still going out with freshman boy, er, Jake. Apparently, things are going pretty well for them, since it's been almost two months now. That almost beats Rose's record for a boyfriend. So, right on for them! Rose deserves someone good, and if they've already been together for almost a few months, something must be going right. I approve. (Well, I semi-approved before, but I approve even more now.)

And then there's me. Internet, it's time to say goodbye to your 16 year old Hopeless Romantic. If fact, it'll be time to change my blog title soon. Tomorrow, I will officially be your 17 year old Hopeless Romantic.
It's strange. I can't believe I'm turing 17. I don't really feel like it. I don't feel old(er).
But I've kind of made a point of not saying "I'm turning 17" out loud. It kind of freaks me out. Because, if I say "I'm turning 17" out loud, then I start thinking how 17 is kind of my last year as a teenager, even though 18 and 19 are still technically in the teen years. And then I start thinking about how 17 is only 3 years away from 20. OH GOD. IN THREE YEARS I'LL BE TWENTY.
Despite other people my age, I don't really enjoy getting older. In fact, I've been having a bit of a getting-older complex on every birthday since my 13th birthday. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I realize how precious youth is, how fast it'll be gone, and once I become an adult, I'll never ever be able to get it back. I feel like it's slipping away.

Not to worry, though, Internet. Tomorrow, I won't mope around, complaining about being older. I won't look for wrinkles or gray hairs in the mirror. I'll have fun! A birthday is a birthday, and blowing out candles on a cake never gets old. Now, as long as my dad doesn't make the waiters and waitresses at the restaurant sing to me in front of everybody, I'll be good.
Here's to my last 26 hours of being a sixteen year old.
xo Hopeless Romantic
Picture taken by Jennifer Pinnell.

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Thanks for playing.}
Monday, March 15, 2010 | 7:09 PM | 0Comment

Hey, Internet. Somewhat long-time no see.

I just finished testing week, because surprise surprise, even online school kids can't escape state testing. Though, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. The private school I went to had us do SAT's since 6th grade, so these tests in comparison were a cakewalk. It was still stressful though, so I'm glad it's over with.
So, you're probably wondering how Jazz and Johnny are doing. Well, I'll make it simple. They're not.

Yup. They're over. Done with. Broken up. After a grand total of--get this--one week.

The night it happened, Jazz called me, upset and crying. It turned out that Johnny thought it was 'weird' and that he 'just wanted to be friends again'.
:I

At first, I was pissed. I told her, "What?! How? You've only been going out for a week!" Not to mention that they've been best friends for two years. I really thought they owed it to themselves to at least give it a month.

I told her, "Most relationships are awkward at first. It's not fair to judge your entire relationship on one week, you should have given it a little more time. Things probably would have gotten better after a little while."

She replied, "It's not really up to me. If he says he doesn't like it, then I won't force him to be with me."

This broke my heart. And made me want to beat Johnny into a bloody pulp.

Since then, Jazz has put on a fake happy face and told Johnny that 'it wasn't a big deal anyway' and that 'she's over him'. Stupidly, Johnny believed her (Jazz is the worst liar, how could he possibly believe that?) and he's gotten back together with one of his exes. A week after they broke up. Just like that. He didn't even wait a little longer to maybe, I don't know, spare Jazz's feelings a little.

And he's gone back to flirting with other girls in front of her. It makes me sick to know he's doing this to her, and I can't be there to help her through this. Well, over the phone I can. But Jazz spent all her time with him at school even before they started going out, and now he's avoiding her purposely. A-hole, right?

Me and Johnny aren't nearly as close friends as we were last year, and I'm kind of relieved. After watching this unfold in front of my eyes, I see what a douche bag he's become since I left the school.

Meanwhile, Best friend Rose and Jake are still together. I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of surprised. (Mostly because of the age difference.) Especially since I predicted that Jazz's relationship would last longer. I guess I shouldn't assume stuff about people's relationships like that. Only the two people involved could know how long it'll last.

Anyway. I'll be over here, helping put my broken-hearted best friend back together. Simultaneously, I'll be looking for a ninja assassin to invade Johnny's house. Anyone wanna help?

xo Hopeless Romantic

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