May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
November 2012
December 2012
March 2013
June 2013
August 2013
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
December 2014
January 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
October 2015
December 2015
January 2016
February 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
October 2016
December 2016
September 2017
December 2018

So, Internet, I finished finals.
I'm so relived. On my way home Friday afternoon, I was so happy, I thought I'd start crying.
Haha.

And I'm super stoked for Christmas! I just double checked under our Christmas tree, and I have 16 gifts!
....I'm very excited. Hahaha. And just yesterday, me and my mom made cookies and decorated them. I love this time of year so much.

But, I have something else to talk about in this entry.

Ricky Bobby.
(for those of you that don't know who he is, go look at my very first entry from way back in May.)

So, supposedly now, he's not coming to visit over Christmas break anymore. Something about really expensive plane tickets or something. I don't blame his parents, they are pretty expensive.
And i guess I should have been more upset. You'd think I would.
But I'm not.

Truthfully, over half a year has gone by since that night. I'm better now. I don't cry every time I think about it, I don't get an empty ache in my chest when I hear his name. I don't want to be with him anymore.
But I still think about him sometimes. Well, actually, more about what could have been.
He could've stayed here, with everyone, with all his friends, with me. We could've fallen even more in love. We could've been together by now. He could've been here as I write this entry, wrapping his arms around me, telling me those words I wanted to hear from him at one time.

I talked to him about a month ago. Well, we've talked since then, but it was meaningless small talk. He told me that he still has the shirt I gave him, and that it still means alot to him.
I'm not even gonna lie, Internet. That tugged at my heartstrings.
I'm not saying that I'd rather have him insult me and tell me how much he hates me.
But he's still just as sweet as he was, and it still kills me.
It would be easier to get over him completely if he hated me. But he just makes this so hard sometimes.

So, maybe it's a good thing he's not visiting this Christmas. As much as I hate to admit it, I know that if I saw him now, the feelings wouldn't be completely gone.
And It's even harder because I don't have someone new to focus on. It's kind of weird to not have someone to like.
Not that I'm saying I need to like someone all the time. But it's hard to get used to not having someone, you know? When you really like someone, you focus your energy and every thought on them. It's like your world revolves around everything about them.
When it's suddenly gone, it's very disorientating.
Like for instance, I added a few new songs to my playlist. One of the new songs I added was 'Whatever It Takes' by Lifehouse. For the longest time, I couldn't listen to this song. It reminds me so much of him, its crazy.
Now I'm able to listen to it again. I just hope I can get used to this not-liking thing.

Okay, I'm gonna wrap up this entry, because it's getting ridiculously long. Hahaha.
I hope everyone out there has a great holiday!


Merry Christmas,
xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, ricky bobby

Ahh. Semester Finals week.

I honestly have never been so stressed in my whole life, internet.
Good lord, so much work. I've never had this much homework in my whole school-life.
x[

It's seriously insane.
But, the last 3 days of the week shouldn't be as hard, I just have to study alot. Plus, when our last final of the day is over, we get to leave, and that's usually around 1:45.
So I guess that's a plus.

Anyway, so, you'll never believe this.
Rosie and I just found out that Fiddy has a girlfriend.

A girlfriend.

I don't know whether to be surprised, appalled, or sympathetic.
First, I'm surprised that Fiddy could actually have enough focus on one girl to be able to get a girlfriend.
But then, I'm apalled because he has a girlfriend and he has the audacity to flirt constantly with other girls behind his girlfriends' back, just because she goes to another school!
And that's why I'm sympathetic for his girlfriend. I'm feel sorry for her because she has no idea.

When we found out, even though she wouldn't admit it, I knew Rosie was disappointed about it. I would be too. :/

Maybe I should've protected her from the menace that is Fiddy.

But still, even after finding that out, she can't stop liking him. I can tell. She still flirts back when he flirts with her, even if she doesn't realize it.

Oh boy.
:/

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

Hmm, internet.


It seems that there's more trouble.
Except not for me, this time!


It involves my best friend. I don't know why I haven't given her a nickname yet, thats weird. I mean, I talk about her almost all the time.
Let's name her Rosie.
No particular reason, I just thought it sounded good. Haha.

Okay, so, it involves Rosie and....
Fiddy.


Dun Dun Duuuuun.

Mhmm. Fiddy is back, ladies and gents.
And this time, he's made my best friend his prey.
I knowww!
And she doesn't want to admit that he likes her. Its weird, internet, Rosie is one of those incredibly undeniably gorgeous people that deny that very fact. I don't know what she sees in the mirror when she looks in it, but someone must have messed with her mirror. She has no idea how beautiful she is.
The guys are all over her, and she never even notices.

I'm not even gonna lie internet, I'm jealous of her. I think I always have been. Ever since the day we met in pre-school.
It doesn't mean I secretly hate her. Its not like we're Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl.
I love her like the sister I never had.
Doesn't mean I can't envy her.

Anyway, he likes her so much. Its so obvious. Almost painfully obvious. He finds excuses to touch her, talk to her whenever he can, and he flirts with her like mad.
I feel bad for Hollister, he bounced back so fast. :/

And I know that he's one of the worst guys at our school, and she's seen the crap he's put me through, but what can I say? I can tell she's starting to like him back.
It's Fiddy. It's like he knows the magic spell for girls to fall in love with him, and it works on almost any girl he chases after. I would know, I've fallen victim to it twice.
Damn him and his bloody irrestistable charm.
D:<

I can only hope Rosie comes to her senses before it's too late.


As for me, lovelies, as I said before, I'm done with guys for now.
I'm waiting until I find one worth waiting for.


xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year

present

past