♡ the life of a 25 year old hopeless romantic ♡

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"This song is talking to the person you haven't even met yet. Maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you're gonna be. You just have to wait your turn. He's out there, she's out there. They're just learning what to contrast you against."






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Bliss.}
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 | 5:39 PM | 0Comment


Internet, today was one of the best days of my life.

Sure, I had a just-average outfit consisting of a hoodie, skinny jeans + rainboots, and my hair kept getting tangles, but I didn't care.
It's Phil.

Pretty much after I wrote that last entry, we talked about two more times after that, and then I lost confidence. Jessica Simpson -whom I usually use as an excuse to go talk to him- was gone for a few days, and those days I didn't talk to him at all! D:

I just couldn't muster up the courage. I know, pathetic, right? So, all I did was stare at him when he wasn't looking, and then look away when he looked. And that went on for a few days. And nothing else.

Then, Jessica Simpson came back today. This gave me hope, and I prepared myself the entire class to talk to him at the end of the class. So, I go over there, right? I completely forget everything I was going to say. I just ended up talking to Jessica Simpson the entire three minutes. Then the bell rang, and he left. :/
As soon as I was about to beat myself up about it, she stands up and grabs my hands with an excited expression on her face. Before I can ask her, she whisper-screams, "Sarah. PHIL LIKES YOU."
My jaw drops. "WHAT? Wait, how do you know??"
And she says, "HE JUST TOLD ME!" And then we proceed to scream and jump up and down like- well, teenage girls.

The entire trip to my next class, I thought I was going to either faint or explode. The extreme joy and excitement I felt was so overwhelming, I wanted to scream my lungs out! My hands were trembling, my heart was racing, and a huge grin was plastered on my face the entire day.

And later, she told me the details (I apologize in advance for the abuse of the word 'like'. This is an exact quote, people. Hahaha). "Yeah, I was like, 'So, are you interested in Sarah at all?' And he was like, 'Is she interested in me?' And I was like, 'Yeah, a little bit.'-"
That alarmed me a bit, but I was actually kind of glad she told him that. I didn't want him to think I wasn't interested, after all.
"-And he was like, 'Oh, a little bit, huh?' And I was like, 'Yeah! You guys would be cute!' And he was all like, 'Really? Well, she is really pretty.' And I was like, 'Yeah? You think so?' And he was all, 'Yeah. She's absolutely gorgeous.' And I said, 'Aww! So, a little bit interested, then?' And we was like, 'Ha ha, yeah.'"
I swear, I nearly died. I went from 'cute' to 'gorgeous' in a week!

I didn't know what in the world to do, or how to act! How could I possibly act like I did before when someone liked me? I mean, actually, truly liked me and they weren't moving across the country in a month's time! (Ha-ha.)
But, I tried my best. And of course, by the end of the day, all of my other friends already knew.

But!
In 7th hour, I have Gene in that class, and of course I had to tell him! So, I tell him, and we're all excited together. Then, he says, "Oh, yeah! I talked to him during break-"
"Today?" I interrupt.
"Yeah! And, he was like, 'Does Sarah like me?' And I said, I don't know! But you guys would be cute together. Wait, are you going out? And we was like, 'Not yet.'"
I had another explosion after that.

So much happened. I'm so overwhelmed!
He thinks I'm gorgeous. And he's interested. And he wants to go out with me! Me!

And, at this point, I think I'm going insane. I can't stop thinking about him. Every single class, I could hardly focus.
Is this a dream? Will I wake up and be the wallflower nobody notices again?

This Hopeless Romantic just might not be so hopeless after all.

xo Hopeless Romantic

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Confusions.}
Thursday, April 16, 2009 | 5:37 PM | 0Comment

I love this picture. I just thought I'd brighten the mood a bit after that moody last entry. :D

Anyway, I have news on Phil!
About a week after all that I blogged about him before, it turned out that he actually liked Lizzie, Jessica Simpson's ex-BFF.
So, I was all disappointed and crap, so I decided to go back to not liking anyone after that.

Then, about a month later (aka, last week), Best friend Rose and I were talking with one of our good friends, Gene, at lunch. He's an awesome guy, we talk with him about everything! He even gossips with us. Then, Phil walks by, and Phil and Gene are pretty good friends so they talk about something, and then Phil leaves. As soon as he leaves, Gene says, "He's so cool."
And I say, without thinking, of course, "Yeah, he seems cool. I think he's cute."
Then Gene goes all gossip-girl-y. "Oh my God, really?? You guys would be a cute couple."
I look at Rose and say, "Really?" And they both nod their heads yes. Then I tell Gene about the whole Phil-Lizzie thing.
"Ew, that's weird. She's not even that pretty. You hotter than her, Sarah."
I say, "Aw, thanks Gene."
And he goes, "I should talk to him about you!" After I hesitantly agree, after about five minutes of convincing, we come up with an awesome elaborate super-spy plan.

The plan was to have me leave, buying random crap at the lunch line, and then Gene goes and talks to Phil , while Rose stays at the table and waits for us. Well, we go through with the plan, and it turns out Gene told Phil he should "Pursue Me". xDDD

But, it also turns out that Gene should be a matchmaker, because when I was with my friend, another Sarah, in the library during Eighth Hour, Phil came and sat with us. We all talked, and by the end, I had Phil's number and he had mine.
:D
Then, the past week, we've been talking more and more, and I've come to find that he's really nice.

And then today, in English, second hour...I found out something.
Today, he worked with Jessica Simpson on the classwork. The past week, I had worked with both of them, but today, they had their desks pushed together, and they shared a book. Now, I knew that Jessica Simpson always forgets to bring her English book to class, and he was probably just being nice and sharing his with her so that she could get it done in class.

But, I was so so jealous.

And Jessica Simpson's my friend, so I know that she would never do that to me (she knows the whole situation). But I was super jealous! And you know what jealousy means, Internet....

I think I might like him.
I have that floaty-crush feeling that I haven't had in forever. I actually forgot what it felt like until now.

But, I can't. Not yet. I have to know if he likes me too. I've too many times been a victim of unrequited crushes. But, I think this time, it might actually become a possibility.

Today, my friend Sarah told me that she asked Phil if he thought certain girls were cute. First she asked about Jessica Simpson, and he said yes. Then, she asked about a girl named Katy in our grade, and he said yes. Then, she asked about Best friend Rose, and I swear, this was his exact response:
"Hmm, I don't know...but, that girl Sarah is cute."

Internet, I think that is a fantastic start.

PS: Sapphire, thank you! It'll definately be different this time. :D

xo Hopeless Romantic

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Flashback.}
| 5:07 PM | 0Comment

Hey, Internet. It's been a while.

Alot has happened. I'll save the positive stuff for a seperate entry.
But first: I'll have to change the name of my Blog, because on March 29th, I had my 16th birthday.

:]

That's right. 15 Year Old Hopeless Romanic is no longer, and say hello to 16 Year Old Hopeless Romantic.
It's weird, who know how every birthday, people ask you, "Do you feel older?" And naturally, you say no? Well, this birthday, I actually felt older. Maybe its because of the significance of the Sixteenth Birthday, but I felt something. It was strange.

Alot has happened in a year, and today, I had a bit of a flashback.

This day last year, we had a really heavy rainstorm. I remember this particular rainstorm because I remember that day after school. That school day, I had spent more time with Ricky Bobby, even after all the crap he put me through. And I remember getting home that day, going up to my room, staring out at the pouring rain outside my window. And I cried, because that day, I also realized that no matter what, I couldn't make my feelings fade away. I realized that I loved him.
And I realized that I hardly had a month left to see him everyday.

Well, today I thought about that. Espacially after I heard from Johnny(remember, my best guy friend, and also the best friend of Ricky Bobby) that Ricky Bobby wasn't moving back next year like he said he would. Today, we also had the first rainstorm of the year.

Ironic, right?

Well, on the drive home after school, I kept having painful flashbacks as I stared out into the rain, and at that moment, I felt the hopelessness that I felt that day last year. I watched the rain slide down the windshield, and my eyes actually welled up. That was when I realized.

It's been a year.

He's not coming back, ever.

It's not gonna happen.

I need to move on.

I've been better, but there's still a hole in me from when he left. I need to heal the wound myself. Nobody can do it for me. I have to put a bandaid and Neosporin on it and keep moving.

xo Hopeless Romantic

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