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Hey, Internet. It's been a while.

Alot has happened. I'll save the positive stuff for a seperate entry.
But first: I'll have to change the name of my Blog, because on March 29th, I had my 16th birthday.

:]

That's right. 15 Year Old Hopeless Romanic is no longer, and say hello to 16 Year Old Hopeless Romantic.
It's weird, who know how every birthday, people ask you, "Do you feel older?" And naturally, you say no? Well, this birthday, I actually felt older. Maybe its because of the significance of the Sixteenth Birthday, but I felt something. It was strange.

Alot has happened in a year, and today, I had a bit of a flashback.

This day last year, we had a really heavy rainstorm. I remember this particular rainstorm because I remember that day after school. That school day, I had spent more time with Ricky Bobby, even after all the crap he put me through. And I remember getting home that day, going up to my room, staring out at the pouring rain outside my window. And I cried, because that day, I also realized that no matter what, I couldn't make my feelings fade away. I realized that I loved him.
And I realized that I hardly had a month left to see him everyday.

Well, today I thought about that. Espacially after I heard from Johnny(remember, my best guy friend, and also the best friend of Ricky Bobby) that Ricky Bobby wasn't moving back next year like he said he would. Today, we also had the first rainstorm of the year.

Ironic, right?

Well, on the drive home after school, I kept having painful flashbacks as I stared out into the rain, and at that moment, I felt the hopelessness that I felt that day last year. I watched the rain slide down the windshield, and my eyes actually welled up. That was when I realized.

It's been a year.

He's not coming back, ever.

It's not gonna happen.

I need to move on.

I've been better, but there's still a hole in me from when he left. I need to heal the wound myself. Nobody can do it for me. I have to put a bandaid and Neosporin on it and keep moving.

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: freshman year, ricky bobby

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