♡ the life of a 25 year old hopeless romantic ♡

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"This song is talking to the person you haven't even met yet. Maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you're gonna be. You just have to wait your turn. He's out there, she's out there. They're just learning what to contrast you against."






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Moving On.}
Monday, April 9, 2012 | 9:05 AM | 0Comment

So, I got my hair done on Friday, Internet. First hair appointment since Uncle's death.

It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it was still pretty hard. When I first showed up, it occured to me that it was the first time I was seeing Auntie since I saw her from a distance at the funeral. I still have that picture of her in my mind; frail and thin and her face drawn, her two oldest kids holding her up on each side, as if she couldn't stand up without them.
I never got to say anything to her then, I was too afraid I'd say something wrong.

So at the beginning of the appointment, I asked her how she was doing, which I realize she's probably tired of hearing by now, but it was the polite thing to do. And then I told her that she means a lot to me, and that I'd always thought of her as part of my family. Then she said thank you, and that her and Uncle had always felt that way about me and my parents. And then she started to cry, and I started to cry, so we had to change the subject.

But we talked about a lot of stuff during those few hours, and honestly, I'd never felt closer to her than in that moment. We both miss Uncle, and he'll never ever be replaced, but I'd like to think that he would be happy with us learning to go on without him, especially Auntie. They were very deeply in love.
Those two are some of the few people that have made me believe that true love really exists, that it's not just a foolish myth or a fairy tale.

Auntie's still trying to stay strong, but if there's anyone in this world that I know would make it through this in one piece, it would be her.

So yes, hard, but it was still okay. The shop had gotten some renovations done since the last time I'd been there, and it looks so different inside that for a moment when I stepped in, I felt sort of lost. Also, Auntie hired a few barbers to work in the place of Uncle, and they were both close family friends. They both seem nice. I didn't know either of them, but I overheard one of them talking to her about being a widow, and he was very kind to her. I think those are just the right people that Auntie needs around her right now.

The one I heard her talking to I didn't really meet, but I happened to hear that his name was Jaime*. I didn't pay much attention to him until Auntie went to go to something in another room real quick. I was sitting at the sink and he came over to it to wet a towel, excusing himself politely.
He suddenly said, "Almost done, huh?" And it took me a few seconds to comprehend what he said because for some reason I get really sleepy while I'm getting my hair done. (Maybe it's the feeling of someone's hands on my scalp? It's kind of soothing. I don't know, lol.)

So then I say, "Oh, yeah, hah. Thankfully." Only then that sounds like I can't wait to get out of there. So I shut up before I say anything else stupid. And suddenly I'm acutely aware that I'm not wearing any makeup. Not even any mascara. Dammit!

He just chuckles though. And then my mom, who's sitting a few feet away, decides to pipe in. "It's taken awhile. She's got quite a head of hair." (Officially mid back length now. YES. Just a few more inches to waist length!)

And I kind of cringe because this conversation is bringing alot of attention to me and I don't even know this guy. But he just chuckles again and says, "Well, that's a good thing," and then gives me a smile. A very nice smile. Oh. He's cute.

So I just smile back and chuckle bashfully, because I don't know what to say to that, and then I look away and don't say anything because I don't want to say something weird or incoherent, which happens to me a lot when I talk to guys. So thankfully after that he's done wetting the towel and he leaves the room.

Yeah. Cute. Totally not even close to my age, though. Probably in his mid-twenties. When I mention this to my mom later (whom, by the way, agrees that he was very attractive), she says that it wouldn't be weird if I went out with a 25 year old. And I guess legally it wouldn't, but I just can't bring myself to seriously consider that, at least right now.

I always forget that I'm a legal adult now. Like, I'm 19. But I still have the 'I'M A CHILD, YOU'RE AN ADULT' mindset about every 20's+ person I see. Even with someone who's 20, I have to pause and realize that they're only a year older than I am. Kinda blows my mind.

Anyway, so I don't see anything happening there. Especially since I could barely even talk to the guy, look directly at him, and say something that made sense at the same time. Plus, you know. Eternal child mindset. I think I'll always feel like a kid, honestly, no matter how old I get. And I'm good with that. Better than feeling too old, right?

But, hey. At least I'll get to see him every 6-8 weeks, right? But I should definitely wear mascara next time. Yeah.

xo Hopeless Romantic

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