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And three thousand years later...}

Wednesday, December 21, 2011 | 10:00 AM | 0 comment

...she updates.

Interneeeeet. Can you guess who's so relieved to be on Winter Break? Uh. THIS GIRL.

Due to some catching up I had to do in Science due to some technical problem (I couldn't do Science lessons for about 2 weeks straight for some reason, and then when they finally decided to fix it, it was the very last week before break. For an entire three days, I breathed and ate nothing but Nuclear Reactions.) and this hellish last-minute application for a scholarship I had to complete (my school nominated me, which was awesome, but my counselor didn't tell me until two weeks before the whole thing was due--which also included, I didn't realize until the second to last day, writen recommendations from two non-relatives. Not awesome.) But in the end, it all worked out, and these first few days of my break, I've just been taking it easy, something I clearly couldn't do in the past month or so of school.

And not to mention that because of my super-lax senior schedule, second semester doesn't start for me until January 18th. That's AN ENTIRE MONTH OFF. Yessssss.

I feel like this break was well earned, and I'm enjoying every second of it.

Here's some good news for you!

Since the last time I updated, Jazz has been over to my house four times to hang out. The first time was admittedly, a little weird still, but then by the last time she was here, about three days ago in fact, things were totally and completely back to normal. We were talking and laughing and being weirdos just like old times, and let me tell you, internet. It was a great feeling.

I'm grateful that everything's cool now, because I'd honestly I'd begun thinking that maybe I'd screwed things up. But as it turns out, me speaking up actually helped. It just took a while to get there, is all.
This has really taught me that it's okay to stick up for myself.
For a long while, I was too afraid to do just that, because I was more worried that people would think I was a bitch rather than worrying for about myself and how I'm being treated. But now that I've grown into myself a bit more, I've kind of stopped worrying what people think about me. I've stopped worrying about always trying to please everyone else, because I realized that I just need to be me. What anyone else thinks about me is irrelevant, it doesn't change the fact that I'm me, and that I'll always be me.

So, it was a hard lesson, but one that in the end I'm glad that I learned.

In other news, the past few days, I've been trying to make up for the lack of free time that I had before break. I've been writing like crazy (finally found some relief from the giant bought of writer's block I had) and reading like my life depended on it. I've also been doing some holiday stuff to celebrate the time of the year......hah. Understatement of the year.
You know me, Internet. Christmas cheesiness left and right. I've been watching all the Christmas specials and movies that I possibly can, been making cookies and listening to Christmas songs every second I can. I love my Christmas cheesiness.

Earlier this month, I decorated the tree with my younger cousins, and me and my mom gave them each these cute little ornaments we found at a store. The youngest got the Cars ornament (that little boy LOVES Cars, I swear), the second youngest got Dora, and the oldest got a Spongebob one. The youngest were so excited that they got their very own ornament that we couldn't calm them down for a few hours afterwards. It made me wonder if they'd ever had something like that before, their own ornaments on their own Christmas tree, but something tells me that they haven't. (To catch my drift, check out this entry from last Christmas.) Me and my mom agreed to include them in as many of our Christmas traditions as we could, and so far, they've really loved it, and so have we. It's almost as if we're seeing Christmas as new again, from brand new eyes. It's beautiful, truly.

So, I've been doing as many holiday things as I can possibly fit into my time. You should see my room, completely decked out in garland and candy canes and lights and SPARKLES. I also wanted to go see Santa at the mall, but unfortunately, it looks like I won't get to. (What?! I'm a teenager still! I'm still young! It'd be weirder if I went in my 20's, or something!)

I can't believe as of now, it's only four days until Christmas. This entire month flew by. It feels like I should still be eating Thanksgiving leftovers right now. (Which, by the way, was great. And as for leftovers this year, they were gone faster then they usually go. I guess that's what happens when you have 8 people in one house.)

Lately, things financially have been especially tight, so I'm not expecting much under the tree this year. But to be completely honest, I've passed that stage in my life where I want as many gifts for Christmas as possible. I'm old enough to realize now that just being with my family and having the things we already have is enough. I have a wonderful family, a home, a bed to sleep in, and great friends. I really couldn't ask for anything better than that.

(Told you I love Christmas cheese.)

In other other news, Best Friend Rose spent the night last night, and on the floor, she's still sleeping like the dead. Considering it's still before noon, I have the feeling I'll be entertaining myself for a while longer. Sigh.

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: christmas 2011, jazz, school, senior year

present me past me

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"This song is talking to the person you haven't even met yet. Maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you're gonna be. You just have to wait your turn. He's out there, she's out there. They're just learning what to contrast you against."

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