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Fiddy Update.}
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 | 2:29 PM | 0Comment

Internet, this entry is one of the biggest reasons why I'm glad this blog is anonymous. And it's not even about me.

I've felt this entry was in order for a long time now (after all, I mentioned this in passing in...September 2010? Yeah. That long ago.), but I couldn't bring myself to write about it for a while because it's just...not a terribly happy topic. And I feel like I need to have some tact while talking about this.

Fiddy. Remember him? No? It's okay, he's from a loooooong time ago. Check out these for reference: These and this and these also. Also, excuse the obnoxiousness of those entries. I thought I was hot shit. Pfft. And look at how many times I mention Myspace! Myspace! Bahaha!

SO. Basically, when I left my old school Sophomore year, it turned out that Fiddy left the school too, along with a few of his friends.
He transferred to a public school, and may I mention, a state-wide renowned public school, known far and wide for its high-quality, Ivy-League education, and also.......its infamous drug problem. Funny how those often go hand in hand. At least in my state.

So, he transfers to this school, and I'm just starting out my online school experience, and so I don't hear anything about him for a while, except for this thing where he calls Jessica Simpson one night, drunk and crying, telling her that he's madly in love with her and always has been (which, of course, blows over and is forgotten about between them within a week.)

But then. BUT THEN. By the end of the school year, there comes news that blows my socks off, causes pigs to fly, causes hell to freeze over, and causes the space time continum to rip in half.

Fiddy has an STD. And he's gotten a girl he's just started seeing, Michelle*, PREGNANT.

Mind you, Fiddy was only 16 at the time, and this news came directly from Fiddy himself, to Jessica Simpson, who directly told Best Friend Rose, who directly told me. This was no through-the-grapevine-rumor-conceived-of-boredom.

Shit got real.

To this day, I don't know which STD he'd gotten, but I feel like if it were something as serious as HIV or AIDS this story would have been much more tragic (although it isn't exactly all rainbows and kittens as it is). But, an STD is an STD. And that blows. A lot.

And not to mention the STD, but the pregnancy as well. Michelle was 18 at the time of conception, I believe, which is obviously slightly better than some 15 year old still in High School, but it's still a blow.

You know, the first thing I thought of when I heard it was Michelle that got pregnant was that she was my fourth grade buddy.

I remember in the first grade, we had gotten fourth grade buddies assigned to us at the beginning of the year. We'd gotten fifth grade buddies the year before, but since the fifth graders went off to the sixth grade after that, it didn't last long.

I remember her being assigned to me and thinking that she was the nicest, coolest girl ever. She was always kind to me, and whenever I saw her, I would run to give her a hug. Sometimes I'd see her in passing, and she would be by herself, tailing behind others in her class, or sitting with one other friend. I'm not sure if this is a real memory, or something my mind conjured up, but I'm almost certain that I once saw her sitting by herself, on the playground or elsewhere, crying.

Years later, in the sixth grade, somewhere at the beginning of the year, I happened to see her and her friends in the middle school building, because they had all come back down from the High School to say hi to some of their younger friends and their old teachers. I distinctly remember being shocked by her appearance, something that happened often that year, because I was still getting used to middle school and how everyone seemed to change into different people that year. I hadn't seen her in a long time. She was a lot slimmer, and she had on the fashionable clothes that I saw the other older, popular girls wear, like clothes from the mall. Everyone seemed to want to talk to her, or knew her somehow.

Once I got the chance to walk up to her with a group of friends I was with, I noticed she hadn't really noticed me there. After a minute or two, during a lull in the conversation, I ask Michelle directly, "Do you remember me?"

As I speak to her, she glances over at me blankly. "No," she says. "Sorry, I don't." And then she turns to one of the friends I'm with, who she clearly remembers, to change the subject.

I don't know why, but this fills me with such an immense disappointment and humilation that I don't say anything more. In fact, whenver I see her around after that day, I go to great lengths to avoid her.

As disappointing as this was to be treated like I didn't exist when we were pretty close for a while when we were younger, I think in a way I understand. To me, Michelle always seemed like someone who didn't like to approach her demons, and maybe in a way I was inadvertedly part of that nasty past that she didn't want to remember. Or maybe she just simply forgot about me. Either way, I still sort of get it.

Anyway. I think this is why the news hit me so hard.

This wasn't one of the spoiled rotten teen moms on MTV that I, and apparently a good portion of America, have no problem watching for entertainment value. I have to admit it, before I heard about this news, I watched 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom and what have you every week. But ever since then, I haven't been able to bring myself to watch those shows anymore.

It was like reality came and falcon kicked me in the face. This wasn't MTV. This wasn't the quirky light-heartedness of Juno (which, by the way, is still one of my favorite movies) brought to life. This was people I know, grew up with, went to school with, dealing with this.

I think to think of it in any other way would be petty. I know people that heard this news and said things like 'it had to have happened to Fiddy eventually' and 'that's what Michelle gets for being a slut' and even got great enjoyment out of it. And that sickens me.

And it makes me feel bad for watching those teen moms on television and not feeling any sympathy for them. Because how is that different from those people who ridiculed Fiddy and Michelle? It's not different at all. As fake as reality TV can be sometimes, they're still real people too.

Even if I don't know those girls, I have no right to mock them for their mistakes. It makes me no better than those others. And even if Fiddy and Michelle weren't my friends, or even particularly people I like, I can still feel sympathy for them. And those that didn't, at all? Well. They're nobody that I want to associate with.

Yes, they made a mistake. But that gives no one else the right to ridicule them for it and rub it in their face.

By now, Michelle has had their baby, and they're actually still together and very happy. Their baby is adorable, and healthy.

And I actually have so much respect for Fiddy because he stepped up to the plate and stayed with his son and his girlfriend, even with faced with something like that while he's still a teenager. From what I've heard, he's a great dad, and he's still finishing High School this year.

Honestly, who could think of a better way of handling a situation like this? It could have gone badly in any number of ways, and instead, they're happy. And that's beautiful.

I won't lie, it feels sort of weird blogging so extensively about two other people that aren't even my friends, but I guess I wanted to because I want someone--anyone--out there to hear this story and to know that teenage pregancy exists, and it's important to confront it instead of ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist only in the next town over, it doesn't happen only to certain kinds of people, it exists, period.

Fiddy's and Michelle's lives have changed for good now, and there will always be those people that will love to never let them live this down, but from the bottom of my heart, I hope they'll always remember that despite everything else, they have their precious baby boy.

And I really, really hope they'll continue to be happy.

xo Hopeless Romantic

(Working on getting pictures on these entries! Sorry!)

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