♡ the life of a 25 year old hopeless romantic ♡

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"This song is talking to the person you haven't even met yet. Maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you're gonna be. You just have to wait your turn. He's out there, she's out there. They're just learning what to contrast you against."






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Colds and Other Illnesses.}
Saturday, March 3, 2012 | 1:53 PM | 0Comment

INTERNATZ.

My February was interesting and also sort of icky all at the same time, and I promise I will post a proper update entry soon. But. BUT. Something just came up. Something that I KNOW you'll want to hear about first.

Last night, I was texting BFR, because I was supposed to sleep over at her new house last night, but due to some life issues going on for her right now, she decided she needed to go out with a bunch of her friends from school and have some fun.
She invited me, but I'm just now starting to recover from the most god-awful cold I've had in years, and it was snowing very heavily last night, so I decided it would be better just to take it easy instead of possibly making myself sick again. Also, I don't necessarily mesh that well with the group she hangs out with at her school, and they were going to see a movie that I never in a million years want to see, so uh, you know. That too.

So I told her to go on without me, and even though I was a little miffed that she decided to change up our sleepover plans--which we'd made on Monday--super last minute to go hang out with some other people(which she's done a few times the past few months now. Probably my biggest pet peeve ever, tbqh), considering what she'd been through lately (I won't go into detail, but it involved her sister going to the ER) I told her that she should go out anyway. I could tell she felt bad, but she said okay.

BUT. During that whole conversation, after telling her that I didn't feel up to going out and that she should go anyway, Rosie says this:

"Well I feel bad, I don't want you to be upset with me :/ Ricky Bobby says he hasn't seen you in years and wants to see you!"

Uh huh. Yeah. Check out that bombshell.

At first I just stare at my phone, thinking that I might have a fever again and that I'm hallucinating. Then I take a few swigs of water and realize that I'm fully lucid. And then I fall over and scream in terror into my pillow.

This actually blows my mind, not only because of HOW FREAKING RANDOM AND OUT OF THE BLUE IT IS, but also because...well. Confession time, Internet: the day before yesterday, I thought about Ricky Bobby.
And it's not like thinking about him is a normal, everyday thing for me anymore. But that one day was an exception. And I thought about him all. Freaking. Day.

I swear. And then yesterday, I get this news. It's...very unnerving.

I mean...first off, how does Rosie even know about this? Does she talk to him regularly, or something? And how did I not know about that?
And second, what made him even say that? Was she talking about me with him? She had to have been, because I have not even talked to him since the first semester of Junior Year, and for him to suddenly say he wants to see me is completely just...what?!

This is so weird, because I haven't written about him on here in almost a year. And now this.

And I hate how this is all I have to go on for now because Rosie stopped talking to me because she thought I was pissed off (well okay, I kind of was.), and there was no further explanation than that. I even asked her to elaborate, but she didn't. So. Ugh.

But before she stopped talking to me, she told me she wanted to have coffee on Sunday, and I told her that it couldn't be late on Sunday, and she said she'd let me know what time is good for her. So, she'll probably tell me then. Will update after. And lets hope she didn't just say that just to get me to come to the movies.

And if she cancels on me again this time, I will sprint all the way to her new house during the night and replace her shampoo and conditioner with Nair. Swear to God.

Ugh. WHAT IS THIS.

xo Hopeless Romantic

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Ginger Ale = my best friend.}
Thursday, November 11, 2010 | 6:34 PM | 0Comment

Hola, Internet.

Since the last time I wrote you, nothing in terms of romance (for lack of a better word) has happened. BUUUT, there was last weekend, which sucked bad.

Why did it suck bad? Well, I'll tell you.

The first part was great. I went with Best Friend Rose and her oldest sister Ashley to the nearest city to their fantastically huge mall. I actually had money to spend (which rarely happens for trips to the mall), and BFR had just gotten compensated for her good grades for 1st quarter (all A's and B's, a first for her!), and she had $250 to spend (maybe over-compensated would've been the better word).

We all went to Forever 21 (my new favorite store, officially), and I got a new knit hat, which lately, I haven't been able to stop buying, knit leggings, a big snuggly sweater with a dog on it, and a cute headband. BFR got 26028453 different things and I don't even remember half of them. Pfft. Rich people and their rewards for good grades. (But really, I just tease her about it to hide my jealousy. So. Many. Cute tops.)

Then, after that is when the evening turned awry. We went down to the food court to get some eatings, and while we were walking to the Panda Express at the end of the food court, there was this guy from another restaurant trying to get people to take free samples of chicken. I love free samples, and I felt kinda bad for the guy, because everyone was walking past him, so I went and took one. I said thank you, and he said, "YOU'RE WELCOME SWEETHEART." (I used caps because he kind of shouted it, even though the food court wasn't that loud, and I was right in front of him. Still not sure why he was shouting...)

I stood in line with BFR while she got her orange chicken, and after she got her food and sat down, I decided I just wanted a smoothie from Orange Julius. So, I went over, and after having an unnecessary discussion with the girl at the counter about whether Fiber and Protein taste the same in smoothies, I got my smoothie, paid, and went to sit down with Rosie.

Soon after that, it was around 9, so we all decided to leave. On the hour long drive home, I started to notice that whenever I drank more of my smoothie, my stomach started to feel weird. I couldn't explain the feeling. It wasn't nauseous, or a stomach ache, just...weird.

Turns out, after Ashley dropped me and Rosie off at Rosie's house, fifteen minutes later, I was puking in Rosie's bathroom. I was going to sleep over at her house, but Best Friend Rose insisted that I go home, and she and her mom were pretty worried about me.

So, my dad came to pick me up, and on the way home, I start having chills. After about ten minutes of being home, I throw up again. We live right by a Walgreens, and my dad went to go get me ginger ale, but by now it was 11, and it was closed, so he had to get a 7-UP from a corner store.

My mom knew just by me telling her what I ate and by my symptoms that I had food poisoning. She gave me Pepto Bismol, but I ended up throwing it up anyway.
That night was hell.
The whole time, I was either puking, sitting up and staring at the TV, or trying to fall asleep on my bedroom floor with a pillow because for some reason, sleeping on my bed felt like trying to sleep on a cold boulder.

I couldn't fall asleep until 6 am, and then when I tried to get up to my parent's room to tell Mom about how I felt like I was dying, I had to run to my bathroom to puke again. I spent that whole day practically a vegetable; in between sleep and sipping on water, and cringing every time a fast food commercial came on.

(Sorry in advance to any guys that might read this part.)
I started to get better on Sunday, but then my monthly time decided to come as well, and I was back to feeling awful again. (My cramps practically debilitate me every month, they're terrible. I've been thinking about getting on a low-dose birth control just to get away from them.)

(Okay guys, you're safe now.)

So after my weekend in hell, I thought it would make school even harder, considering I was still so weak that I couldn't even get out of bed. But, surprisingly, so far this school week I've done better than I have for the past month, so I guess being a vegetable gave me more motivation...?

Anyway, lesson here: I beg you guys. PLEASE be careful about free samples. You never know how long that food's been out, or how it was handled. I'd never gotten food poisoning before, and I wouldn't wish that crap on my worst enemy (even though I don't have any. Maybe. Hopefully.).

I used to love free samples from places, but I think it'll be a long time before I have any again. And I'm never eating in that food court again (although I won't count Orange Julius, because HELLO, it's Orange Julius.)

I'm much better now, and I'm eating normal food again, but damn. Worst weekend ever.

And as far as the getting-over-Ricky-Bobby thing is going, it's good so far. I think it's actually working this time.
Maybe it's because before, there was always the 'what could have been' thought in the back of my mind whenever I tried to get over him before he moved back. 'What if he hadn't moved?' 'What if he comes back and he remembers I like him?' 'Did he ever like me back?'

But now that he's back, and I have spent time with him and saw who he is, and saw how he was nice to me, and how he has changed as a person a little bit, I can see the truth clearer. He never was interested in me, and he still isn't. And that's just how it is.

So now, there's no regrets, no what ifs, no more questions holding me back. And now that I know the absolute truth, it's easier to let go.

It's still a little hard, but I'm doing it. Like I said before, day by day.

xo Hopeless Romantic

(Picture by meppol from deviantART.)

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