There's a few things about my blog that you should know.
I go by Hopeless Romantic for many reasons, but I guess one of them would be to protect the innocent. I'm not afraid to say what I think, so that also might be another reason. Haha. So, if some person I know irl were to come here and read every single one of my entries, they probably wouldn't know it was me. That's also why I make nicknames up for people I blog about.
I'm probably a lot more different than what most people would expect someone my age to be. Sure, I love clothes and make up and I'm a huge sucker for boybands.
But, I've been told that I have an old soul (Google it). Who knows? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But please, take me seriously. That is all I ask. I'm a girl who's never been in a relationship before, so I don't throw the word 'love' around like a hot potato.
But I'm bound to have many crushes on the way, so, please enjoy reading about my roller coaster of a life.

Name : Sarah

I'm black, age 23.

Waist length hair, baby face, social anxiety.

Likes: Daydreaming, writing, reading, learning, fashion, eating, movies, all kinds of music, the color pink, kpop/jpop, kdramas/jdramas, the hollow heart emoticon, things that are cute, making people laugh, comic books.

Hates: Spiders, clubbing and or partying, really hot weather, close minded people, bigots, extreme sports.

contact:

email : here.
[NEW]twitter: @xohplssrmntc
follow me on twitter!♡


F.A.Q.

"Where are you from?"
The United States, in the western region of the country. I used to say 'mid-west', but just so you know, I didn't actually know what it meant, and I was using it wrong. Haha.

"Who do you think you are?"
Someone who's scared of everything and who hasn't completely figured out how to live yet.

"If you're so afraid of love, why are you so obsessed with it?"
I still haven't figured that out. But aren't we all?

{ ♡ }

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LAST ONE TODAY, I promise.

SO. College.

I haven't written about this subject in a while, and the reason is basically because I've hardly been able to stand to think about it. Senior year is crazy, truly. Nothing like the movies. But I've pretty much 100% decided on which college I'm going to in town. 2-year community.

My plan is: Go to the 2-year community college, and then after those two years, transfer to a University. I know I lot of people say that they're going to to that, and then they never do, but that's definitely 100% my plan. And this is why.

1. No dorms to mess with. I don't want to live in a dorm. I know that's a regular part of college life, but, just. No. I don't. I can't. I'm an only child, I've always had my own personal, private space, and to live in a huge dorm with a bunch of people I don't know? No. HELL no. I hardly even boded well with cabins at summer camp as a kid. Also, community bathrooms period. At my old school, I was the kid who had to change in the single stall bathroom in the locker room for gym because I didn't want to change in front of other girls. And it wasn't because I didn't like how my body looked, or whatever. I just didn't even want them to see me in my underwear. So. Just.....no.

2. I'll be dipping my feet rather than just jumping in all at once. I'm aware that being homeschooled has kind of made me unused to being around kids my age everyday. I admit, that is something I miss, just having that sense of community all the time (even if everyone hates each other secretly, as messed up as that sounds). However, after some time of thought, I don't think going away to some huge University right after high school is ideal for me. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but I think thought would bring me a lot of unecessary distress. Going to a new school with thousands of new people around me, complete strangers, and not having the option to go home if I need to escape for a little while. I would just have my dorm room, but then I'll have a roomate, whom I also don't know. I wouldn't get to call my family or my friends about it, unless it was over the phone or Skype, but that's not the same. I've just been at home so consistently for so long now that suddenly jumping out of it into something else completely different would be traumitizing for me. I've always hated change, and honestly, I think this is a change I need to go about gently. I'll drive to my classes daily, still living in the comforts of my home, without having to live on campus. Also, I don't need to worry about living costs, finding food or money for food, and all the other worries that most college students go through on top of school.

3. I did some research, and it turns out that at least half of the professors that teach at this community college also teach at a big local state university. So, essentially, I'd be getting the same quality education for a better price and much less trauma. Awesome.

4. Can also take classes part time, if I want. And if I take classes part time, then I get to do other stuff, like hopefully a job. If someone will hire me. If I finally get my license so I can drive to said job. If I get my learners permit renewed because it expired two weeks ago. Cough. I know I can also do this at a University, but I feel that there's less pressure at a community college.

5. I can find a managable escape from high school. I like online school. Really, I do. And I wouldn't change or take back these past three years for nothing, because I learned a lot about myself, and I changed for the better. But they've also been both heaven and hell for me. I can start to feel myself waning now, not like the life is draining out of me or anything, but I just feel myself getting not as motivated anymore. It's not that I don't want to do school anymore, I do, but it's getting harder and harder to force myself to do it. It's probably just the Senoritis talking, but still, I feel like I've been doing this for a thousand years now, and my steam is running out. I just know that after this, I'll never set foot toward online classes again.

I still really appreciate what online school has done for me, and the way I've grown the past few years, but seeming as my parents didn't have much--if any--knowledge about homeschooling before signing me up for this, it wasn't handled well by any of us.
Perhaps if I'd known more about it before I started, or I was more prepared, and them as well, it would have gone better. But it wasn't handled well, and I've pretty much stumbled through all three years of this. From the very beginning, starting three weeks late into the school year, it just never went as smoothly as I would've liked.

I'm glad that my private school education sort of prepared me for the workload that I've needed to take on once I--inevitably--get behind in my schoolwork, but after this, I just can't do it anymore. I can't. These days I feel like my sanity is hanging from a string. This is why a university's workload and stress isn't even close to an option to me right now, and online college would literally drive me to drop out or lose my mind. I swear.

So, community college is the best option for me right now. In two years, I feel I'll be ready for a university then. But as for now, the idea of a community college just gives me...peace. I don't feel sick thinking about it, I don't feel anxious or scared. I'm excited. This is what I want. And for those who don't agree with my choice, they can kiss my ass.

Of course, those close to me who I've told are all cool with it, and they're glad I made this decision for myself, and that it makes me happy. I'm glad I don't associate with snobs. Now to just finish this school year in one piece.

xo Hopeless Romantic

Labels: college, senior year, senioritis

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