♡ the life of a 25 year old hopeless romantic ♡

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"This song is talking to the person you haven't even met yet. Maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you're gonna be. You just have to wait your turn. He's out there, she's out there. They're just learning what to contrast you against."






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triumphs and complications.}
Thursday, February 4, 2016 | 7:30 PM | 0Comment

Hoo boy, Internet.

I got some updates for you, and of course some more trademark Hopeless Romantic rantings. Buckle up.

What should I update you on first? Well, since technically my blog is a dating blog, why don't I start with what y'all really want to hear about: Amad.

So, after I wrote my last entry, I waited for his next move, aka setting up when we would figure out a set day and everything. No move came, except for some more likes from him on Instagram here and there. And so I kept waiting. And I waited.

And waited. And waited. And waited.

And I spiraled further into madness.

Two weeks had officially passed since the initial asking out, and two solid weeks of radio silence followed. Two weeks where I had basically overthought every possible thing and dug myself into a hole that I sat at the bottom of and thought about how he was totally not into me and I had misunderstood his asking out entirely or that he had been into me but something I did made him totally uninterested again and it was my fault and GAME OVER. (Holy run-on sentence Batman.)

I had basically overthought myself into an actual funk, a terrible mood that lasted for two days, and it did not feel nice. So after digging myself out of this hole/funk, and feeling somewhat decently again, I decided to do a Bold Thing.

Said Bold Thing is something that I rarely do with guys I am interested in: initiating conversation first when we have never ever had an actual real conversation before.

Doing this Bold Thing was so intimidating for me, for a couple of reasons.

  1. In my mind, he had already rejected me once. I'm talking about when he first gave me his number and I sent him a text after many a deliberation and angsting and he totally blew me off. Yes, in my mind, this is a rejection. Yes, I know it was a relatively small action, but to me it seemed blunt: he'd changed his mind. He had no real interest in getting to know me, and had no interest in talking.
  2. Because of my long streak in middle school and high school of never* having any guys that I liked liking me back, I developed a very strong fear of rejection. In developing this strong fear, I basically overcompensated with either never** telling guys I liked that I liked them or avoiding every possible situation of developing serious feelings.
(*with maybe the exception of R*cky B*bby when he moved back in the 11th grade, to be honest, I'm still very iffy on this.)
(**with the exception of Phil, which ended up being mistaken feelings anyway and I will regret it until I'm 97.)

I've talked about this here before. For me, when it comes to guys, avoiding = safe. A guy's too attractive? Avoid at all costs. A guy's showing interest in me? Avoid avoid avoid. A guy's trying to talk to me? Definitely avoid.

Of course that would leave me with no options and a completely dead love life for years, but I liked it that way. Things were simple. Uncomplicated. Safe. Worry-free.

So, in summary: for me, sticking my neck out and actually risking being vulnerable and hurt if Amad rejected me a second time?

It filled me with terror down to my very bones.

It took a few of my anti-anxiety remedies so that I wouldn't have a panic attack, and giving myself a lengthy pep talk...but in the end, I typed out my message to him (Something to the effect of, "Hey. Are we still on for that lunch? I figured if we're gonna meet, we should probably at least talk to eachother? Haha."), swallowed my terror, and sent it.



Internet. You know what happened?

He replied 15 minutes later.

ALL THAT SELF TORTURE, ALL THAT WORRYING. FOR NOTHING. GAH. I'M SUCH AN IDIOT YOU GUYS.

It turns out, that first text I sent him? He never actually got it. And he thought I was ignoring him.

Omg. The entire rejection was completely in my head. All that overanalyzing and mental gymnastics over a misunderstanding. Story of my life.

Amad being interested in me was the very least of my worries, because y'all...he is definitely interested in me. Most definitely.

After the initial lunch-asking-out, he's asked me out 2 more times. One was to hang out at his brother's house (which I of course said no to because it was 10pm and I was in my pajamas and warm bed and was eating Cheez-Its and tbh I wondered for a moment if he was joking), and another was to have dinner at his family's restaurant (which I said no to because I had literally just finished eating dinner with my family, but that I might have to take him up on that sometime, because between you and me his family's restaurant is actually really successful and I've wanted to eat there since before I even knew who Amad was).

Fast forward to now: our city just had a huuuuuuge snowstorm hit, and we're pretty much buried in snow and ice right now, which again makes meeting up for that lunch impossible. But we're both definitely interested in meeting still, so I have a feeling we'll find a way to soon. Which you will hear about if it happens. Gulp.



But like I said: him being interested in me is the least of my worries. Because there's some bad news, which I found out during our first conversation.

Amad is moving out of state. To the west coast. At the end of February, aka in less than a month.

Now first of all, let's get this out of the way, I know what you're thinking. This makes it the 3rd time a guy I'm somewhat interested in is moving halfway across the country.

What is with this? Is it me? Am I just inexplicably, instinctively only drawn to guys who are moving away and I'll probably never see again? Do I just have the worst luck with potential romances in the entire world?

So, yeah. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. When he told me that, my heart sunk. Part disappointment, part relief because to be honest, I had just been waiting for something to be wrong. So now that I knew what was wrong, it took some of the edge off.

I've been thinking about it ever since, even during some of our other conversations, and I have a lot of mixed feelings about it.

Here's the thing, Internet. Amad is very attractive. Very, very attractive. He's smart, socially aware, driven, artistic, loves his family more than anything else, and dresses REALLY well (not to mention his hair is possibly the best hair I have ever seen in my life point blank). And I am more attracted to him than I have been attracted to anybody in a long, long time. Not since R*cky B*bby have I felt this attracted to someone's personality and looks all wrapped up together like this.

I remember just a year ago today that I was thinking I would never be drawn to anyone else like that. But with Amad? I have the same feeling. I haven't met him in person yet, so yes there's a possibility that I'm 100% wrong and it was just an illusion. But I have this need to meet him so badly. So badly. I never want to meet someone right away like this. To be honest, it scares me a little.



The logical part of me knows that this can't end well, in endless different ways. The biggest one being that he's moving 500 miles away in 3 weeks.

Let's think about all the possible outcomes here.

Even if we meet, we could have a terrible first date, one that I would look back on cringing for years. But what if it went extremely well? So what? Would we date casually for 2 more weeks and then he'd peace out and move and we'd never talk again? Would I even be able to do that without getting too attached in the first place?

Considering I never even dated R*cky B*bby, my feelings were 1 sided, and I was miserable for months after he moved, I don't think I could. When I develop feelings for someone, I develop them hard and quick. When I developed feelings for RB, they swept me off of my feet so quickly, I didn't know what had hit me. It was also completely out of my control. So I wouldn't be able to keep myself from developing feelings, and it would all end in my heartbreak.

Say things between us went amazingly, and we decided to have a long distance thing. How well could that possibly turn out? He would be the first boyfriend I've ever had, and I've never had a boyfriend that even lived here. 

How would I be able to handle my first relationship with someone that lived 500 miles away from me, and one that was weeks old to boot? It would be impossible. I would go insane.

His moving to the west coast isn't temporary, either. He's moving there to pursue his dream, acting and filmmaking. He even told me he's been working hard and saving up money for months. This move would likely be permanent, aside from visits home to see his family, who all live here.

And considering my financial situation at this time, I don't foresee me being able to visit him out there. I have friends who live there, and I've never been able to visit them, either. All because of money issues. There would be phone calls, texts, and Skyping--but how long would it take for those to become tedious and not enough for either of us?

All of this would be so unrealistic. It's about a 1000 times more complicated than a relationship would be if he weren't moving and we still lived on the same side of town, i.e. a normal one. And a normal relationship in itself would be complicated enough already (because of work for the both of us, money for me, my social anxiety, my lack of license and car).

Why would I get involved with this and make everything needlessly complicated and painful for myself?

Honestly, I wonder how people even make relationships work at all. To me, they seem like the most complicated thing to achieve. It's no wonder how I've never been in one at age 22. With all of these complications flying around, how would it even be possible for me?

After this much thought, Internet, I'm not sure I should follow through with meeting him.

Honestly, it makes me wish I had met him months and months ago. So that I had gotten enough time to get to know him and hang out with him before he had to move. Because when he moves at the end of this month, it'll be too late.

I keep thinking about our first conversation over text. We were talking about what we wanted to achieve, and who we wanted to be. I told him about my dreams of being a published author (which he was impressed by), and he told me about his dreams of being an accomplished filmmaker.

I asked him how long he'd been interested in filmmaking, and he told me he'd been making his own films for 7 years. I was impressed, and I told him that I bet he'll kick ass once he breaks into the industry.

And he said, "We both will."

Boom. Chills. Everywhere.

I don't know why that's been resonating with me so much. Maybe because so many people that I meet brush off my dreams as if they're simple, or not impressive enough. Or they look down on me, as if they doubt that I'm smart enough to write.

So when someone, even someone that I've never met before, tells me that they believe that I can do it...it gets to me. Goes straight through me to my soul. And I've never talked to a guy that seemed genuinely supportive of my dreams before. Ever.

I shouldn't let that one sentence get to me so much, but it did. And it still is.

Internet, I'm conflicted.

On the one hand, I want to be logical and think things through. I want to protect myself and save myself the trouble and complications.

On the other hand...I'm tired of always walking away from situations that seem too messy, or complicated, or hard. I'm tired of looking back and regretting letting people and opportunities go. I'm tired of regrets, period. This other part of me wants to let go of my fears for once in my life and just go for it, see where the cards fall and go with the flow, consequences be damned.

Amad is someone special, I really feel it. Do I really want to pass this up and take the easy way out just because it might be hard?



Sigh. I always have wanted guys that are unattainable.

In other (better) news: FIRST SITTING JOB. THIS WEEKEND.

Yes, Internet, that's right. This weekend I officially start my career as a dog sitter with my first client, a cute year and a half old black lab named Sally. Yay!!

Her owners are going on a skiing trip. So this weekend will be full of playing with Sally, watching Sally, and juggling Sally and my dog at the same time. Wish me luck!

I'll update soon and let you guys know how it goes. And I'll also offer an update on the Amad situation...sigh.

xo Hopeless Romantic

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*sighs and crawls back over*}
Sunday, November 4, 2012 | 3:17 PM | 0Comment

Wow, look at me. Updating for the first time in two months. TWO MONTHS. Is that a record? I feel like it is. For shame. SHAME.

Where to start? Wow. Wooooow. Well, okay, first off, list of things that ended up not working out:


  1. Ballet, unfortunately. When the time came to sign up for lessons, which was incidentally a few days after I wrote here last, something intriguing happened. When we called the number found on the dance studio's website, it rang. And rang. And rang. And rang. And no one ever picked up. Not even an answering machine. The next day, we tried again. No one picked up again. Days later, even though it was days after lessons were supposed to start, we tried calling again. No answer. Our guess is that maybe the studio closed and nobody took the website down, although it was admittedly strange because the 2012 lesson schedule was still up on it and everything, so it must have been very recent. Either way, that was disappointing. We tried looking for any other studios that had the same price range, but none of them were as affordable. So, no ballet for me.
  2. The pet store job. You know it sucks because I was gonna write about how AWESOME I thought the interview went. As you guys can imagine, I was terrified, and at first it was slightly awkward, but my potential boss was super down to Earth and laid back, and she made me feel as comfortable as possible. Best part was: she showed me around the store and introduced me to the girls that worked there before the interview even started, and after the interview she had me talk to one of the employees and ask her any other questions I had about working there. Call me crazy, but that seemed pretty promising right there. Can you blame me for getting my hopes up? Sigh. But I digress. After the interview, I never heard from her again. I even did the follow-up email thing, the whole shebang. She didn't even bother replying to my email to tell me I didn't get the job. Just...never contacted me again. Not that I feel entitled or anything, but she could have at least told me if she wasn't going to hire me. I mean, common courtesy, right? But I didn't even get that. Geez. Mostly over it by now, I'm just embarrassed still I guess. Like...I must have really flopped that interview, or I don't make very good first impressions. Lol. But, yeah. Pretty disappointing. So, no pet store job for me.
  3. Grocery store job. Two weeks after I'd sent the follow up email, and I realized that I probably was never going to get a reply, I decided to apply to the grocery store by my house. It was a last resort really, because I had considered the grocery store job before the pet store one, and after having the "great" interview for the pet store, the idea of working at the grocery store abhorred me. But after I realized I wasn't going to get the pet store job, I decided to get over my aversion to the grocery store and realized that having a job that I didn't like that much was better than no job at all. So after finding out that they were hiring for all positions, I applied online to the grocery store. Since then? No calls to make an interview, no contact at all. So, no grocery store job for me. (But, to be fair, I applied to be a courtesy clerk, aka a bagger girl, and I read somewhere that that job sometimes includes cleaning bathrooms. Maybe I dodged a bullet there.)
  4. A tutoring job. Long story short, I met this nice Korean guy online (a university student) and we were talking for a while (about two weeks) when he suddenly asked me about minimum wage in America. I told him what minimum wage was in my state, and then he said that he would be willing to pay me more than minimum wage if I tutored him in English. It was totally out of the blue, and at first I was a little uncomfortable with the idea, but I thought about it for a few days and then realized how cool it would be. We planned some things, like how much he would pay me, how he would pay me (through Paypal), when we would meet (on the weekends, during a time that worked well for both of us), and when we would start. It actually felt like I was actually about to do something, something that would be fulfilling and scary but also something I would learn from, and then--the weekend we were supposed to start, he postponed. Said he had a family thing. Okay, I thought. That's no big deal at all, perfectly understandable. Plus, I was injured, so it worked out for the best (more on that in a second.) He asked if we could postpone until the next week, and I said yes, of course. The weekend after? Didn't hear from him. This weekend? Didn't hear from him. I messaged him two days ago, asking him if he was all right and if he still wanted to do this. No response. So, I guess that's not happening either. I get that maybe he just lost nerve and decided he didn't want to do it anymore, and that's fine. I just wish he'd tell me.


So, as you guys can imagine, I'm just...frustrated. It's not like I'm not trying. I've been trying, and really hard at that. Trying to just...do something. Mix up my life a little. Do something so I can feel like I'm not just wasting my time. But I feel like I've run out of options. I've considered every little other thing, but it either 1. costs too much money 2. requires a second car, which our family doesn't have and also can't afford 3. is too far. I'm trying, and have tried, and I just don't know what I can do at this point. I've even looked into online jobs, but there are none that I've found that don't require a degree or a vast knowledge of HTML or CSS (which I know some HTML enough to manipulate codes, but not enough to make codes out of scratch flawlessly). So. I just don't know.

And on top of that, about three weeks ago, I ripped a muscle in my left pectoral (or rib, maybe) muscle. I don't know if any of you have ripped a muscle, but it was probably the worst pain I've ever felt, other than maybe breaking a bone (which I've never done before, thank God.). I still have no idea how I managed to do it, but for two whole weeks I couldn't reach above my shoulders, put too much weight on my left foot, breathe too deeply, or cough and sneeze without searing pain. I had to keep my rips wrapped too because--and this is graphic, I'm sorry--I could actually feel the torn muscle getting pinched between my ribs when I moved. Yeah. Ow. It got so bad at some point that my parents considered taking me to the ER, even though we don't have health insurance.

So I spent two whole weeks not being about to do anything about lay down flat on my back and not get up except for the bathroom and eating, when I would lean slightly up on a crapload of pillows. I couldn't even write because typing hurt, too.

Lately it's seemed to be healing up slowly, and even now if I lean over at a weird angle or slouch too much it starts hurting again. Let this be a testament to how out of shape I am. AND, lol, that's not me calling myself fat mind you (because I know I'm not fat), that's me acknowledging the fact that the 3 years I spend in online school, I sat in front of the computer for 8 hours everyday, and then outside of the 8 hours of school, I sat in front of the TV the rest of the time, or slept. No PE. No walking to classes. Hardly any walking at all, except to go downstairs to get food. I am really, scarily, out of shape. No one my age should be as out of shape as I am. 

Whatever I did to tear my muscle, it wasn't doing anything spectacularly athletic or rough, because I don't do anything like that. It was probably just some ordinary everyday movement, or something too heavy that I picked up too fast. Which is sad. Not boo hoo sad, just....plain sad.

So, I'm going to start exercising again. Going to start off easy, probably just some walking exercise times at first, just to make sure I don't push anything. But it's something that I need to start doing again. Those two weeks were miserable, I need to take better care of myself.

Wow, this entry is whiny. I feel like that's all I ever do on here, lol. Whiny whine whine. But I just had to get that off of my chest.

How about some other news? Not really big news, but news anyway. Not really good news, however.

Last night, I had a dream about Ricky Bobby.

It was actually the first one I'd had in a while, since the last one in April. But still, to have another one in the first place, it was kind of...troubling to say the least. Especially considering its nature. It was short, but pretty simple.

In the dream, I was...I don't know. Having a normal day? Going about my business, doing normal stuff. I don't know when it was, but apparently in this dream I had not checked my Facebook in a very, very long time. Okay, not that long. A month, maybe. But when I logged in, I immediately saw that I had 46 unread private messages, lol.

I didn't really express any shock at this, so I guess that sort of thing happened all the time. So I click to read them, and immediately I see that a few messages down, there is one from Ricky Bobby. It's untitled, and I guess in this dream, that thing were you can preview what the message says before you click on it doesn't exist, so I click on it, my heart in my throat and my hands shaking. Why was I so nervous in this dream? No idea. But with good reason, as you'll find out.

The message is long, a few paragraphs long, and the first thing I see written in the message is, 

'Sarah--

I've needed to tell you this for a long time...I love you. Completely and absolutely. Always have.' 

In the dream, as soon as I read this, my hands fly up to my throat, which is something I do when I'm overwhelmed, and my vision tunnels. I reply to the computer screen as if he can hear me, "I love you, too. I love you. I love you so much."

Then, as a second thought, I say to myself, "Oh my god. Rose has got to see this." So I go to take a screen shot, but then I realize that the whole message isn't showing, and I should scroll down to show the whole message, along with his picture right next to it. So I try to scroll down, but my computer has frozen up. That's crappy, right? (And actually so true to life. Happens at least 10 times a day.) 
So I wait for like 5 minutes for it to unfreeze, and it doesn't. So like I actually do all the time in real life, I slap my laptop hard to try to get it to work. The screen changes slightly, seizes up, and I slam my keyboard frustration. Suddenly, the computer unfreezes, and a window pops up on my computer screen, saying 'Message deleted'.

The dream ends with me staring at the computer with my mouth gaping open and my stomach sinking.

Hah. Great dream, right? Or should I say nightmare.

First of all, just the fact that it had to be Ricky Bobby with that sort of message at all. But then the fact that I returned the sentiment, and fervently. What the freaking hell, subconscious?? What the hell was that??

So as soon as I woke from that dream, thoroughly disturbed by it, the first thing I did this morning was log onto Facebook and block him on it. Extreme? Yeah, I admit it was. And totally irrational. But, I don't know man. That dream...after not having a dream like that about him in a while, it got to me so much that I needed to make absolutely sure that it it had no chance of actually happening. I mean, I know that there's already 100% zero chance of it happening already (pretty positive he has a girlfriend right now, someone he went to school with in Pennsylvania), but I needed to make it 10000% zero chance. That way, there is no way that he'll ever be able to contact me again, but this time, it's my choice completely. 

And while I was at it, I blocked Drew and Pre-RB as well. Also overboard, I know. But it felt damn good. The last thing I need right now is some stupid boys barging back in and complicating my life further.

Also, this Halloween, I dressed in this sort of gothy/visual kei costume, even though I had to throw it together with clothes from my closest. But I got to do heavy fancy goth makeup, so that was nice. I got lots of compliments!

So. That's been my life the past few months.

I'm going to keep trying to find a job, or something, but admittedly, since the holidays are coming up, I might postpone it until after Christmas. Maybe I'll have better luck then.

xo Hopeless Romantic 

 ps: Happy belated Halloween!

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I know you missed them...}
Thursday, August 30, 2012 | 12:22 AM | 0Comment

...time for another...

BULLETPOINT ENTRY!!!!!


  • Kay. First things first: BFR's birthday. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I'd anticipated, and honestly I think that sometimes things are so much more awkward in my imagination then they actually are. (I need a label for my mind that reads: WARNING - Objects in the future may be less terrifying then they appear. trolol *bricked*) Jerry is much nicer than I remembered, although we did have some awkward moments, though that's just because we've never been particularly in the same circles before and basically barely know each other. But other than that, it was a fun time. And the restaurant was really fun and had great food, I really don't know what the hell I was talking about before. Maybe I was confusing it with a different place? Hahaha. It was about 60 miles away from our city, but I rode in Jerry's car with Rose up there, and it was pretty fun, aside from Siri giving us the wrong directions about 3 times and getting us lost a little (although Jerry's car has a broken window in the back that won't close, and me being me I sat in the seat right next to it. Afterwards my hair looked like Ke$ha's after going through a tornado.). After dinner, Rosie jokingly suggested we go clubbing in one of the high-end inner city clubs, and I imagine that because of the look of horror on my face was so obvious that she didn't even bother bringing it up again, haha. I feel kind of bad about that, but honestly? Me in the club? In my long, bohemian maxi dress and my 14-year-old-esque face with my 11-year-old-stature? No way I'd be let in. No freaking way. And plus even if I was let in, I'd probably have a mental breakdown, or get eaten alive by regular club goers. Gulp.
  • Due to some pretty intense persuasion (along with some may-or-may-not-be-rhetorical threats) from Best Friend Rose, she convinced me to reactivate my Facebook. Sigh. Yup. Well, what can I say? I lasted 10 months without a Facebook. I lasted more than some people, at least. But I decided that I shouldn't have to suffer and therefore decided on impulse to delete more than 200 people off of my friends list, only leaving people that I actually talk to, really like, appreciate, and family members. It was like freeing myself from shackles. I only have 44 friends now, but considering they're all people I love having in my life, that's all I need.
  • Speaking of friends, Jazz is sort of getting on my nerves again. It's not at the point where I don't want to be her friend (you know, like all that drama last time) but it's just little things lately. Like how she's spending every waking hour with her boyfriend and honestly never stops talking about him. Ever. Which I find annoying, regardless of who it is. And I'm not just nit picking here. A few weeks ago, she decided to introduce him to my parents. So unannounced, she randomly shows up at my house with him. Yup. Just strolls on in with her bf to introduce him to MY PARENTS. Don't get me wrong, he is a cool dude, and I like him, but COME ON. And not only that, but a week ago, she brought him over again to try to sell me and my parents this vacation club membership--Which, not gonna lie here. That kinda pissed me off. Because if she had any idea of the kind of summer I had, she would realize that my family doesn't even have the money right now to send me community college (but more on that in a minute). We're still recovering finances from moving last month, so much so that we're currently living paycheck to paycheck. Where the hell would we get the money to blow on vacations?? My family has been in debt for the last decade or so, and I haven't been on a vacation since I was 7. I get her intent was good, and I get that she's just doing what the job requires (she works for this vacation company), but I just think it was a little inconsiderate. Anyway, that's that. Perhaps a tiny break from Jazz will do us some good for now.
  • Last week was particularly hellish, and I'll write a separate entry for it because holy wow. Not to worry though, things are much much better now because:
  • IMPORTANT THINGS COMING UP: Ballet lessons. AND POSSIBLY A JOB. And then college in the spring.
  • We found this great little dance studio that only has lessons for $48 bucks a month, so we're currently scraping together money for my first month and my dance gear. But we're signing me up this weekend, and then it's official. I'll officially be taking ballet lessons. First lesson is next Friday. SO EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 
  • AND AND AND. This Friday, I have my first job interview ever. EVER. It's for the pet store that's in the shopping center literally right behind our house, and they sell organic pet food and offer pet grooming. You guys have no idea how excited I am to work at this place. A few weeks ago, almost a month ago in fact, I'd walked in and asked if they were hiring. The owner told me that they weren't at the moment, but handed me a business card and told me to email her my resume and she'd contact me if there was an opening. I emailed it to her, and literally a few days ago, she emailed me back telling me they may have an opening and asked if I could come in for an interview! SO, we scheduled my interview for this Friday at 3:00pm. Guys. GUYS. I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW. A. JOB. INTERVIEW. ME. GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NECESSARY INCESSANT EXCLAMATION POINTS AND CAPSLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
  • So I've definitely 100% decided on starting college in the Spring instead of this month, if that wasn't obvious, considering I haven't even written about school and August is nearly over, haha. But do to financial reasons, and also personal reasons, I decided it would be best to start in Spring 2013. Which  gives me the break I had somewhat originally intended myself to have in the first place. It gives my family more time to get together the funds necessary for school, and I'll have some experience with a job before starting school. I think it'll be a great experience for me this way. I have to say, though, it's so weird seeing all the back-to-school commericals and thinking they apply to me...then realizing they don't. At least not right now. This is the first time in 12+ years that I haven't had to start school in August. Not gonna lie, it's pretty awesome. And I'd better not forget how awesome it feels, because I won't experience this again until I finish college, lol.
So. Things are really looking up, aren't they? It'll take some adjusting, and I'll probably hate myself for jumping into all of this so suddenly for a while, and the first week I have both ballet and (hopefully) work, it'll probably give me figurative whiplash, but I'll get used to it eventually. I'm just...even before these things are happening, I'm just so happy. I haven't felt this excited about something in a while.

Hello, new life. I welcome you wholeheartedly. 

xo Hopeless Romantic 

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